How To Stop Seeking External Validation
Do you often find yourself seeking approval and validation from others? Do you ever base your self-worth on the opinions of others? If so, you're not alone.
Seeking external validation is a common human behavior. But you must know it’s a trap within the human experience that is easy to fall into — and is detrimental to your well-being. When you seek external validation, you stray from your unique path. It stunts your growth.
However, there are ways to break this habit and find validation from within.
Here are a few strategies to help you stop seeking external validation and instead come to lean on self-acceptance.
Identify Why You Might Seek Validation
The first step in stopping the cycle of seeking external validation is to understand why you might be doing it in the first place. Perhaps you have experienced past trauma or have low self-esteem from growing up with a dysfunctional family.
Maybe you feel like you don't measure up to others or have a fear of rejection. You could even be suffering from a victim mindset.
Identifying the reason can help you address the root cause and work towards finding validation from within.
Lean On Self Care
One of the best ways to stop seeking external validation is to prioritize self-care. This involves taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health.
Physical Health: Make time for activities that make you feel good, such as exercising, eating healthy, and getting enough sleep.
Emotional Health: Practice gratitude, spend time with loved ones, and write in a journal.
Mental Health: Tap into meditation, speak to a trusted advisor such as a therapist or spiritual guide, and stay connected to your support system.
When you prioritize self-care, you will feel more confident and less reliant on external validation.
Focus On Your Goals
Another way to stop seeking external validation is to focus on your goals. It’s easy to get wrapped up in what everyone else is doing (then try to keep up with what we think success looks like or looks cool). When you stop focusing on what someone else is aiming to achieve, you can take a step back and visualize what you actually want out of life.
Rather than seeking approval from others, set your own goals and work towards achieving them.
When you accomplish something that is important to you, you’ll experience a sense of pride and validation from within.
Adopt a Meditation Practice
Self-awareness maximizes your potential by providing a solid foundation for truly knowing who you are, what moves you, and what you value.
Meditation is a powerful tool for self-awareness and can help you break the cycle of seeking external validation. By practicing meditation, you’ll learn to quiet your mind, be present in the moment, and become more aware of your thoughts and feelings.
This awareness can help you recognize when you are seeking external validation and make a conscious decision to find validation from within.
Reassess Your Values
Sometimes seeking external validation is the result of living according to someone else's values. If this is the case in your life, reassess your values to evaluate if you are living in alignment with them.
Living according to your values will make you feel more confident, let you live more freely and authentically, and be less reliant on external validation.
Incorporate Strategies To Be More Playful
Engage in activities that bring you joy and allow you to have fun without worrying about what others think.
Playfulness is all about freedom and joy. It’s expressing your entire, genuine self in celebration and without limits. Being present and unrestricted is key. It is the ideal method to relieve oneself from the restrictions of "adulting" and get the energy flowing through your body.
By tapping into your playfulness, you are resonating with the magnificent feminine energy of the goddesses. You are connecting to the devi consciousness by unleashing this playful spirit within you.
Take A Social Media Break
Social media can be a breeding ground for seeking external validation. Selfies, vacations in exotic places, an acquaintance's recent achievements, and perfectly edited videos are readily available when we pick up our phones and scroll.
Getting caught up in this pattern of behavior and imitating what we see on social media is an unconscious action. Take a social media break from time to time to recenter.
You will feel more grounded and centered when you step away from social media's constant comparison and validation-seeking.
If you struggle to maintain a social media break, try unfollowing accounts that are harmful to your mental health. Especially if people you are following leave you feeling behind in life or just overall bad about yourself.
Reflect On Your Progress
It's important to reflect on your progress in breaking the cycle of seeking external validation. Celebrate your successes and acknowledge the areas where you still need to work. By reflecting on your progress, you will feel more confident and motivated to continue on your journey toward finding validation from within.
