Episode Transcript

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Namaste, everyone. I hope you are doing well. I hope you're feeling relaxed, happy, safe, and grounded, wherever you are. Today's episode in the Conversation with Seekers is a special one, because it's the last episode in this series. After this one, my solo episodes will continue to show up twice a month, but we'll be pausing the conversation series for a while. I'm truly thankful for all the love, all the amazing thoughts, notes, feedback you sent. Each one of them have been just so encouraging, so amazing.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Second reason why this episode is special, because Pritesh Shah, our guest today is the first man to appear in the Leela Gurukul universe. Until now, we have only had a woman showing up in the series. He's the first man and also he's not my client or student, not part of Leela school also. He's a good friend. The reason I felt Pritesh would be an amazing guest on this episode, because he always sends me some really fascinating questions on Instagram.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I remember one day he sent a series of questions and I thought, "Pritesh, why don't you come on the podcast?" Because we have spoken about it for many years, and I was like, "I think this is the time. Now I've started inviting guests, although I'm only inviting Leela students for now, but just your questions are so intriguing, so amazing, and I think it would be good to have your perspective." My intention on the Leela school, the podcast, is to invite seekers.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: People who are not coaches or gurus or teachers, but just seeker, and they are seeker of consciousness. That's what Pritesh is. In addition to being a seeker, Pritesh is an actor, comedian, producer and screenwriter based in LA. His recent short feature was a very critically acclaimed film titled, Invisible Brown Man. I believe it's available on YouTube. You should check it out. In this episode, we are exploring what it means to be a seeker.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Pritesh has also been accounting, left accounting, became an actor. My hope is his story, his journey will inspire you to simply honor the truth within, honor the calling within, and I hope you enjoy this conversation. Thank you, Pritesh, for being on this episode. Thank you to all the students, all the listeners who are listening. I'm excited to share some really fascinating episodes in the coming months on Leela podcast.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I am Chandresh Bhardwaj, and this is your Leela Gurukul. Hi Pritesh, I'm so excited to have you here. How are you feeling?

Pritesh Shah: I feel great. I've been actually looking forward to this. When you asked me to do this, I was ecstatic and it was a pleasure. My whole family listens to it, my friends listen to you, so I feel very grateful.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: That's such an honor. I remember you mentioned one of my podcasts. I believe that was on silence and you all were listening to it. I shared it with my family, because that was such an honor for an entire family to listen to my... I also felt the pressure, oh my God, what do I do next? Do I create another awesome episode? What's next? So that... But I take it as huge responsibility, but thank you for the compliment, for the kind words.

Pritesh Shah: You have a lot to say. It's quite helpful. It's helped my father and mother through their grieving process and bunch of stuff. It's been very helpful. It's great.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Can I tell you one thing? You are the first guest on Leela podcast who is not my client or Leela student. I'll tell you the reason behind it. First of all, openly, I shared this many times, I openly avoided bringing the guest on the podcast. It always felt too much work, like too much coordination, too much of scheduling the right thing. I used to record most of my podcast at like 1:00 AM, random timings, really random.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I felt if I bring in a guest, I need to be in that energy, in that space at that scheduled time, and I know myself and I was like, "I don't think I can manipulate that energy within." So I just completely canceled the option. Lately I felt like having conversations and I was like, "I want to have conversations with those people where I would not need to check my energy because it will change itself when I start talking to these people."

Chandresh Bhardwaj: That's when I started inviting Leela students because I know them and seeing them just gives me a lot of encouragement because they are the people who believe in me and encourage me to do the work I do. Then you are making a debut on my podcast and you are not a client or a student, but just because you have amazing questions, you know?

Pritesh Shah: Yeah. Even though I feel like a student in many ways, because I've been a friend and a contemporary in many ways, because I met you seven years ago in your meditation class.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Wow. Oh, yeah. It's been years. Yeah.

Pritesh Shah: Yeah. A long time ago. Yeah. That's how my relationship started with you. Then I started following you and listening to everything you said on Instagram. Then when you did the podcast, I've listened to every episode, even the ones you have with your students. In many ways, I feel like I've been in the Chandresh school way before you started the program per se.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I sense that, the way you ask questions, the way you listen, and that actually made me literally respect your stillness and receptivity, because you would always ask me questions with a lot of curiosity and you would listen with a very open awareness, because as you already must have noticed people do not ask questions to listen. They ask questions to validate what they want to listen.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: One day I think you sent something really interesting. Your questions are always really amazing and I was like, "You know what? I think I need to have Pritesh on the podcast. I think it's time." Because our conversations do have that energy, do have that space for others to also dive in. I didn't know this, by the way, I just got to know. I was reading your bio, that you were an accounting student, but now you're an actor, so we share-

Pritesh Shah: Yeah. We share that financial background, you and I. Yeah.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I thought we had only one thing in common, being from India, you know?

Pritesh Shah: No.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: But yeah, we got two.

Pritesh Shah: We have two. It's interesting because that was my... And I know you don't speak about it a lot, but you had studied Vedic astrology before, right?

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Yeah.

Pritesh Shah: When you grew up.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: In India, yeah.

Pritesh Shah: In India. Really, my parents were into it a lot as a kid, but that was one moment of, I would say a universal connection to what I had. It was a beautiful experience, but my mom had made me come home to see a guru from India. Right when I met him, I was a vice president of accounting society, had a 3.8 GPA. I mean, as by all societal standards, I was killing it. Right?

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Right.

Pritesh Shah: Doing really well in school, I knew I was going to have jobs lined up, and he looked at my chart and he goes, "What are you studying?" I said, "Oh, accounting." He looked at me. He goes, "You'll never use your degree."

Chandresh Bhardwaj: My God.

Pritesh Shah: It broke me because my immature mind at that moment heard I'm going to be homeless.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Yeah. I know what you mean.

Pritesh Shah: There you go. A year later all this stuff transpired that he had told me to be mindful of my energies. Then when I told him I wanted to pursue acting, he goes, "That's what you should be doing, a hundred percent."

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Exact these lines were written by my grandfather minutes after I was born, he wrote exactly these lines, "Chandresh will never use his formal education degree." Then he wrote, "You should not force him to use his education degree." I could never understand what he meant by it. I experienced what you felt when I was in Manhattan. I had my first job with a big CPA firm and the main boss, she could read auras, how crazy that I work for someone in Manhattan and they could read aura.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: One day I asked her, "You never give me feedback. Am I doing something really terribly wrong? You don't notice me." Because she was very verbally expressed, very harsh and aggressive leader. She said, "Do you really want to know the truth, Chandresh?" I said, "Yeah." She said, "The truth is, you don't belong here." I said, "Oh, yeah. I'm thinking of switching from accounting to finance." She said, "No, you don't belong in this space. Wall Street is not for you. You are here to do something spiritual, philosophical."

Chandresh Bhardwaj: She had zero clue about my background. I remember sitting in New York subway that day, feeling broken, feeling shattered because I respected her so much and she said you don't belong here. I felt everything I was working for somebody just collapsed it for me. I did not want to hear her voice for long time. When I left finance, I went back to her. I printed a diary for her from India actually. I had got a name imprinted, of her name imprinted on the diary.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I went to see her, thanked her that even though on that day I didn't pay attention to your words, but today I'm actually moving into that path. I don't know where it will take me. I think as an Indian person, we have this kind of a privilege to have these teachings, wisdom from direct sources like astrologer gurus, but the crazy part is, are we willing to really believe or listen to it?

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I know you have a lot of insights on astrology I'll come back to later, but what changed for you? Like when he told you, "This is not for you." And everything, what went on for the next five years for you?

Pritesh Shah: When that happened, initially my reaction was very resistant, right? You're a young kid, you hear this. Now in hindsight, I realized I was upset because he hit a truth chord in me. Something in my spirit related to that, because I was always a funny, entertaining person. I was class clown type guy, you know?

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Yeah.

Pritesh Shah: I was also a club promoter and making money doing that. I was also that guy and I think it hit me. I was like, "What do you mean this is not what I'm going to do with my life? I've made a decision in my head and I've gone down this path." Something he said made me so upset. Of course, you get upset because it hits something in you that feels truthful, right?

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Yeah.

Pritesh Shah: Nothing happened until six months later I graduated and I had about five or six months before my job was supposed to start, and I can't just sit at home and do nothing. My mother never understood why I was doing... Mother's intuition. She's like, "My beta..." If you're listening, beta is like a son.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Beloved son.

Pritesh Shah: Yeah. Love. It's like a way of saying honey to your child. She go, "My beta, there's no way he's sitting in a desk. You're not meant for that."

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Wow.

Pritesh Shah: She had found in a newspaper, IndiaWest, she had found an ad for a guy in Orange County, I'm from San Diego in Orange County, teaching commercial acting class. She signed me up for it. I said, "Sure, why not? I have nothing to lose. I'm going to be bored at home. Why not go do it?" I started training with him and he goes, "You're good. I'm going to set up an audition for you with an agent." I said, "Okay. Whatever."

Pritesh Shah: I do the audition, they sign me on the spot and I start booking these print jobs, print model gigs, and little things here and there, and it felt good. Like something in my soul felt like this feels right. I don't know how to describe it, but I just feel at ease and this feels fun for me. Then I had a physical for the job I was about to start. These are where all the little angels come in. I had a physical and the doctor looks at me and he goes, "You don't look happy."

Pritesh Shah: I go, "What do you mean?" He goes, "You're a young man about to start his career. Most people are excited to make money and their life starting and you don't seem excited." I'm like, "Well, it's just a job. What's the big deal?" He goes, "Are you sure this is what you want to do, son?"

Chandresh Bhardwaj: My goodness.

Pritesh Shah: I left that room going, "Huh?" What he did without even knowing was give me permission to seek, to question, to wonder, to go, "Is this what I want to do?" He gave me that permission because at that time you're so set in your ways. I came home. I was like, "I don't know." I'm like, "Let me just try this acting fun thing for a few more months. If something happens, I will do it. If it doesn't, then I'm going to do my job." That was where I was at.

Pritesh Shah: As I was working, working, working, time flies, and it was two days before my job was supposed to start. I remember being at home having a panic attack, crying, I couldn't sleep. Something in my heart was telling me I can't start this job. Just immense level of pain and anxiety. It felt like I was having a heart attack. I felt so heavy in my heart. I came downstairs. My dad's at work.

Pritesh Shah: I told my mom and my sister how I was feeling, and my mom goes, "What was the point of us coming all the way to America from India, being two hours away from the entertainment capital of the world and then telling my son he can't pursue it?"

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Wow.

Pritesh Shah: She goes, "What's the point of us being here? If we have the same expectations you would've been limited to in India, then we should have stayed in India." A very powerful thing to come from a mother.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Absolutely.

Pritesh Shah: She goes, "I support it." My sister, of course, my little sister, Gomo, she's always been supportive of me, and she supported me. That was nice. Of course, every Indian boy is scared of his father. If you're going to test academia and especially he paid for my college, my dad was a very successful person as an engineer, so he's expecting his son to carry on the reins.

Pritesh Shah: I called my father very scared and basically told him, "Hey, dad. I think I'm not going to take the job. I'm going to pursue acting and see what happens." I just remember he was just quiet, said nothing, which is worse.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Yeah. Sounds like a typical Indian father, right?

Pritesh Shah: You could feel the dragon fire behind the phone.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Exactly.

Pritesh Shah: It was very scary. I told my mom, I said, "I want you to give me that guru's number that came here. Give me his number." I was mad too. I was like, "Give me his number." I call him and right when he picks up the phone, I started crying because he's the one who had started this domino effect within me, energetically. I just said, "Look, man, you told me so-and-so, you told me I'd never used my degree. Well, I feel like I want to pursue acting and entertainment and I need you to tell me that that's right."

Pritesh Shah: I was not very respectful, to be honest. But he could feel where it was coming from because I was obviously on edge and he just said, "I told you and you weren't willing to listen. That's why I didn't finish when I came and told you, but everything in your chart's entertainment, that's what you're here to do. You should go full throttle." That validation for something in me eased a lot. It felt like five pounds came off.

Pritesh Shah: Some reason from his voice, his connection to God, just the way he said it with so much calmness, yet much sternness, like it was a matter of fact. He just gave me permission to be like, "It's okay. You'll be supported by the universe. It's going to be okay. Well, before you go real quick, then I called HR, which was the scariest part. I called HR. No one picked up because it was noon. I left a voicemail saying, "Hey, I won't be coming in on Monday because I figured out what I want to do with the rest of my life."

Pritesh Shah: I hung up and I was so petrified. One o'clock after lunch, I get a call and I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. The HR lady, she goes, "Hey, honey, I got your voicemail, and you know what? I'm so proud of you because I wish I made that decision when I was your age."

Chandresh Bhardwaj: That's crazy.

Pritesh Shah: Yeah.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Can I ask you one thing? What if that guru didn't show up on that particular day? Do you think you would've still done this maybe later? What would have happened if that scene in your life didn't exist?

Pritesh Shah: It feels like such a magical moment. I'm sure if it was really meant to be in my destiny or that was a push I was going to have, something else would've started the domino effect maybe. I can't say with conference because the real answer is, I don't know. I don't know. I'm not God. I don't know what my scenario would've been, but I'm so thankful that it happened.

Pritesh Shah: Even like it just... I don't even know who that Pritesh was on not only the day when I met that group, but especially when I spoke to him on that phone about a year later and I quit my job. Still to me, I get scared about how that version of Pritesh was able to do that.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Yeah. I feel there's some unknown unseen force that steps in and makes us do things that we do. We don't know the logic behind it. I'm glad you did that when you were in your 20s, because I think as we age, we become a little more corrupted, a little more scared. A little more of everything. The younger you are, the more innocent, the more vulnerable, the more rebellious you are. I think it comes a little easily. How old were you when all of this was happening?

Pritesh Shah: That was 23 and 24.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: How old are you now?

Pritesh Shah: 36.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Wow. It's been more than 10 years of that decision.

Pritesh Shah: Yeah. Yeah. I'm very grateful for it because it's been a... Nothing's ever really gone according to my expectations necessarily, but I also realized what I expected or thought I wanted... I was talking to a friend about it today. I was like, "I don't know. Going through a different transformative phase in my life where physically I'm feeling a lot of... Surrounded by death, a lot of ego deaths, a lot of internal transformations where all these ideas that I thought I wanted or expected to happen aren't really important to me or I understand the play."

Pritesh Shah: I always tell people, I feel like the way my energies have been how it is in my chart that I learn or just how I'm here is I just feel like I'm playing a game of Monopoly or life. I feel like I'm playing a game. This is a big board game and you win it and you're done with the game. It's like the reason I played it in this drama is because I want to win the drama so I can escape the drama, if that makes sense.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: It makes complete sense. I think about it every day that I'm playing in the circus to escape, finally, to be liberated from the circus forever. That's the hope, that's the aim. I also feel if I even don't win over the circus in a few years, I'm still going to leave the circus. Like that's-

Pritesh Shah: You're going to be in a ranch in Wyoming.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Oh, yeah. Totally. Anywhere. I'll take ranch anywhere.

Pritesh Shah: Yeah. I started realizing, I was talking to one of my other friends. She's incredibly very self-realized or on that path at least. I learn a lot from her and she told me one thing I find is true. She goes, "You always get something after you no longer really want it."

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I believe that.

Pritesh Shah: The moment you don't want it... Every time you see someone get they go, "I always wanted this." But it's always I wanted this. I wanted this because then the desire never really ends. I've seen it in my own life where I get something, I go, "Oh, why isn't this as materially fulfilling?" Because I envisioned this years ago, it's culminating and manifesting physically now and that's usually how it works. A thought is physical in the universe before it really materially manifests.

Pritesh Shah: It doesn't take time, our idea of time, or may be slower or fast, but that's up to you and your perception. But when it materializes, whether it's six months or 20 years, doesn't matter, you've moved past that desire thought process. The ego works in interesting ways. It's quite interesting why we always don't at the deepest level, feel fulfilled by what we're giving, even if it's what we wanted.

Pritesh Shah: When I realized that, I laugh now, because I understand how that drama works. Even the work I do or whatever success I may have or people congratulate me or whatever it may be, it's a fun game to me because it feels so less serious. I always feel like a step away from it. It just feels out here and it's cool and I'm witnessing it all.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Do you think people are trying too hard to gain happiness or even enlightenment? Do you feel everyone is trying almost too hard, almost next level going beyond their own capacity?

Pritesh Shah: I think if we're talking about people who already have their basic necessities taken care of, then yes. I always say it's interesting. As far as we know, at least, we could be wrong, but as far as we know, it seems as though out of all the conscious beings, all animals and everything, if you take a dog who's freezing in the rain and starving, you give it water, you give it food, you give it shelter, you give it warmth, they're happy.

Pritesh Shah: Human beings are an interesting breed because we're the only ones who our problems start once our basic necessities are taken care of. All other animals, you give them all their basic necessities and their problems are solved. For human beings, that's usually our problems really start. Why am I here? What is my purpose? What am I doing? Am I loved? Am I enough? Do I need a partner to feel fulfilled? Do I make enough money? Am I desirable?

Pritesh Shah: Do I have to fulfill my... It goes on and on, that drama. I always found that... Once I realized, I was like, "That's really funny." Having a dog changed that because she brings so much just unfiltered love. Beyond that, just witnessing her behavior. It's like, man, I want her confidence. I want her self-esteem. She's not worried about how she looks in her presentation. She's fed. She gets some love. She gets to play.

Pritesh Shah: She poops, she pees, she eats and she's so sincere and authentic to who she is and never is she thinking, "Man, I slept too much today. I'm not valuable. I didn't participate in this show, so maybe I need to show people that I'm a hard worker. Maybe I need to appear a certain way." For me, that helped me because I grew up being highly, highly ambitious in this stuff. There's nothing wrong with it. I think ambition is a part... We take just life force energy and we can utilize it in many ways.

Pritesh Shah: Like life force energy can be used materially as ambition. We can use it as sex drive. We can utilize it for food and hunger, whatever it is. It's all coming from the same source in my opinion, but I found myself to be at most peace when I use a lot of that energy to just dig within or meditate, or go for walks and figure out like, "Where did I come from? Who am I? Who was the first version of me? Who has the first lineage of me? That's crazy. Was that million years ago? Was that billions of years?"

Pritesh Shah: Then when you start thinking of those questions that I won't have answers to, you start realizing how small everything is and it's not sad to me. It just feels more poetic and calming.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Being an artist, you witness a lot of, I think, darkness, struggle, strong need to be validated by others. How do you maintain your calm? How do you convince yourself not to be part of the rat race? How do you convince yourself to stay hopeful when things are actually not looking hopeful on the paper?

Pritesh Shah: I mean, definitely not perfect. It's a daily thing. You have moments because I'm still in my human form and I'm affected at times as well, but I definitely have gotten better when I stopped taking myself so seriously. You start getting so less affected. You realize that you're surrounded by people who are just trying hard. You accept where they are at times. I'm not always good at that. I'm learning to have more empathy for people who might be operating very in the material.

Pritesh Shah: Understanding I have my hand in that as well. I think when I realized that I didn't need the validation as much, you start... And it's not just validation from my business. That's a part of it. I mean, if you're in that state of mind, you're looking for it constantly, in the dating scene, from friends, when you're playing sport. I grew up being incredibly competitive, very competitive. I realized that was coming from my need for validation and feeling so insecure and unworthy so I was only worthy if I beat you.

Pritesh Shah: It turned a game, to get better at this game turned into my self-worth and those are two separate things. For me, it's like that. Like I told you, when I started looking at my life from a macro... I feel like I'm looking down from a satellite, and when I look at it like that, it brings a lot of peace to my life where I go, "How did you get here?" You don't even have that answer. You don't have this answer. You have no idea how you got here.

Pritesh Shah: Yeah. I can tell you, "Chandresh made this decision. I did the..." But all these stories I'm telling you, you can't write that. It has to be experienced. You could never tell me that a doctor's going to say this. Some guru from India at this perfect time is going to tell you this that makes you feel this way or like... I don't know how I got here, man. So who am I to think I know where I'm going?

Chandresh Bhardwaj: You have been mentioning being less serious quite a few times, and I have had my own journey with it as well. I think Leela, that name itself helped me a lot. I mean, Leela is my grandma's name and she was like Leela, relaxed, happy, very, very content person in life. I used to tell her all the time that, "Nani, pray for my material success. I wanted to talks in these countries. I want to have this kind of car."

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Her response was always one, "I'll pray for your happiness." I used to say, "I'll manage happiness. I want these things to happen." She said, "If you don't have happiness, you will not enjoy those things." I was in college in my early 20s where material success was everything. Now I realize being joyful, being less serious, such a gift, such a gift, man. My question to you is, do you think being a man it's just difficult to be more expressive?

Chandresh Bhardwaj: You mentioned your father. I see my father. I think their generation definitely has a little hard time expressing. My father now is very expressive, but I grew up seeing him with not too many expressions, but now he's very expressive. Now he's actually a lot more expressive than what I would want him to be at times. He's very emotional. He's very-

Pritesh Shah: Making up for all those decades.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Yeah. I see that with a lot of men as age, they become mellow, relaxed, especially men from Asian culture or maybe here also, but let's talk about the men in their 30s or 20s right now. Do you think it's just difficult for a man to be expressive in today's world?

Pritesh Shah: It's interesting you bring that up because I was having that conversation earlier. We're in an interesting place and I think I'm going to... A side note with that. It's always, when people say we live in interesting times, well, we haven't lived at other times. I think everyone's always felt like it's an interesting time.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Absolutely.

Pritesh Shah: I think we have to start with that. I think our egos always want to make it feel like this is the first time.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: A little special.

Pritesh Shah: We're special and we're dealing with stuff no one's ever dealt with. That's not true. This is part of human conditioning, so it just happens with different technology, but the experience is similar. Yeah. I mean, I think if we're going to have a very balanced conversation, I would just say that throughout life, at least as we know it in modern history, both men and women had their place. It was a different period of energy in that way.

Pritesh Shah: There was a lot of codependency and there were strict rules of each gender. This isn't a conversation about whether it was right or wrong or judging it or... That's not the point, but that's how it was functioning. There was a time and place because that was necessary for what society was building towards. Now, we have built a lot. Now we're digging deeper. Yeah. I mean, it was like men were... A lot of times we talked about women it was about their beauty and their ability to take care of a household and be a mother.

Pritesh Shah: That's what their value was. Our value was highly put on that. For a man, it was all about his ability to provide and protect. I think those things don't get really talked about now because everything, that conversation about men just turns into toxic masculinity. I find that almost humorous because I think people don't understand that we all have feminine and masculine energy within us, regardless of what sex or gender you are.

Pritesh Shah: Just labeling something quite important that is within us just toxic, no, you can be toxic with anything, but just because you're toxic with it doesn't mean the thing itself is bad. If you eat too much sugar, sugar is bad, but sugar itself isn't bad. Sugar's good for you if you have the right amount from healthy sources. I always say don't label something because you have the inability to handle it. That's one thing that's important.

Pritesh Shah: I think for a lot of men now, that can be an issue for expression, although it's changing quite a bit. I'd say it's changing a lot, but yes. I mean, of course I was even raised... and I'm not old, I was raised where men don't cry. You're told don't cry. You have to be strong. You have to provide. You have to make money. All the typical masculine standards were put on me to be valuable. I think I had to outgrow that and deprogram a lot through my work, for sure.

Pritesh Shah: You being more expressive. I'm like, "This is how it feels and this doesn't feel good." I need to realize like, oh, wow, I did experience abandonment as a child and all these types of things, which the younger immature version of me would've been like, "Just stop being weak." He would've considered that weakness. I think the weak part is not to heal from something. That's easy to stay in your victim mentality, is to acknowledge that something happened, but latch onto it as your identity so you no longer have to outgrow it. That's something we deal with a lot in society.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: You write a lot about accountability, the victim mentality.

Pritesh Shah: Yeah.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Do you see that a lot happening around you? What's the observation there?

Pritesh Shah: Oh, a lot.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I know, I can tell you see a lot of it. That's why it comes out on your tweets.

Pritesh Shah: Well, look, I just recently went to India and I think what I see a lot is like, I always give that example of our cleaning lady in India. She wanted me to follow her and videotape. She asked me to videotape and put on Instagram how she lived. She lives in a hut by a river. A lot of pollution. No running water and technology as far as like... I mean, she has a phone, so she has technology but what I meant was electricity.

Pritesh Shah: All the modern things we see here that we consider normal is not normal for her. Yet incredibly happy. I mean, unbelievably happy. She didn't know how old she was. I asked her. I mean, to me, that's odd. That feels like you should know when you were born. I was like, "When were you born?" She goes, "I don't know." I'm like, "So you don't know how old you are?" I was bewildered. She smiled at me and she goes, "Why does it matter?" I had no answer to that. Why does it matter?

Chandresh Bhardwaj: My nani didn't know her age, my grandmother.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Her answer used to be, I am as old as Shiva because no one knows the age of Shiva. She's like, "Shiva and I are of the same age." Many people in India don't know their age and they're so chilled with it, so relaxed with it.

Pritesh Shah: Yeah. I think we latch it on because that is a big part of our identity, is our age.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Exactly. Age.

Pritesh Shah: Age. Then you start realizing like, "I don't care as much." I used to care a lot. I was very dictated and motivated because society's put 21, you can drink, you can party, your college, your this, you should be married by this. All these standards that we've put. I realized, "Oh, wow, okay. How is this taking on all these identities that lead to our own victim mentalities a lot?" Here we're surrounded by it so much because, one, we did go through a period of time where people weren't able to express themselves. We didn't hear people out.

Pritesh Shah: Everyone shares trauma. We all have it. When I say that, I never talk about the victim mentality as to say that people's stories are unimportant or they're not valid or your pain's not valid. I never mean to come from that place in my heart. My issue tends to be is that a lot of times people use it, can weaponize their trauma or what they've been through to garner attention to feel better than, to say things like, "Well, you didn't go through what I went through."

Pritesh Shah: They're using it to put others down to make their story more important. I think we have to be very, very mindful of doing that because, one, if we can all say one thing about the human experience, no matter what material wealth you have or what you were born into, it's a journey of trauma. It is a journey of trauma regardless of what you have. Everyone's experienced something and it's valid. I think that's really, really important.

Pritesh Shah: Also, having dual perspectives, right? I always make fun of actors sometimes, even though I am one and I'm making fun of myself and that's okay, but you have actors a lot of times... And that's my experience and what I do is you'll say... They'll have an audition, they go, "Pray for me." I go, "Pray for me that I get this commercial." I go, "Really?

Pritesh Shah: People are walking four miles to get water. People don't have electricity at their home. You have access. You have a roof over your head, you have access to transportation. You have access to your phone, which is technology. You have water. You have all your basic necessities plus some taken care of." When are we going to be mindful of using these deep, conscious connections that we have and what a prayer would actually be used for?

Pritesh Shah: I understand not everyone's thinking of it that deeply, but I think it's important because you're losing context a lot. I always say to pursue your dream, what a luxury? What a luxury?

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Absolutely.

Pritesh Shah: Because to most people, their dream is just that. It's at night when their eyes are shut because when they wake up, their reality is completely different than their dream. The pursuing of your dream in itself means that everything else is taken care of so you can do so. What a luxurious place to be? I have to look myself in the mirror all the time and say, "What are you doing for Pritesh? Stop it, stop it."

Pritesh Shah: Because sometimes I can be like, "Oh, that was a bad audition." Or, "I'm not going to get this." So what? I hope you do and you will and it's part of your journey for sure, but you're going to have to let go of how it comes and also realize that it's not who you are.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I look at this within myself and others around me and I feel each time you step out of your aura, your energy and start comparing, I think then your mind just messes up everything. Because when you stop looking at your journey as where you are and where you are right now and just start comparing it with everybody, then you feel terrible. I remember... I think this is a Naval or Gary Vee's book. I believe it's Naval. Naval's book. Naval Ravikant.

Pritesh Shah: I know Naval.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I know you do. Yeah. He wrote somewhere. He said it takes 10 to 15 years to become decently successful or all right in your craft, but if you have a cousin or a friend or someone you know who has made it too big too quickly, it will mess up your mind because you are wired to compare all the time. If you compare your journey with someone you know, I think nowadays people compare their journey with someone they don't know, strangers and they feel terrible.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Depression will happen, anxiety, and they mess up their dreams because the mind says if you're not as good as that person, if you're not as successful as that person, what are you even doing? Do you feel that's such a problem now?

Pritesh Shah: Yes. Look, if you look at life in this structured way of linear growth and the function of time being a utility in such a way, if that's the frequency and energy you're operating at, it's going to be rough. It's going to be quite rough, because you have to ask yourself, what's making you valid? First thing. The answer to that is you, yourself are valid. You're here. You're here. You're alive.

Pritesh Shah: You didn't choose life. Life chose you. You're here and life is existing because of it. It'll be taken away when nature decides that as well. That's my foundation, that's at least helped me. The more meditation and Kundalini and chanting and other stuff I've done, that just gets me into that vibration of depth, the question you just asked me, I guess it keeps me out of that muck.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: That noise.

Pritesh Shah: That bucket, that noise, and I have empathy because of course I was very much a part of it, and I still am at times. There's days where your mind just... It's so funny, you can do the work for decades and it's just waiting around the corner. You have a moment and all of a sudden, whoop, that creeps up of all that negative self-talk. I think it's important to realize that, first, there's no such thing as linear growth. That's just your ego trying to take control.

Pritesh Shah: There are people in my world who book a TV show and think they've hit the top and then they don't work again for five years. I think it's true. I mean, there's people, you look at someone, might go, "Man, all my friends are married and I'm single and I want to find someone." Okay. Now, five years down the line two of your friends have been divorced, child support, don't talk to their wife. How can you say that they've succeeded more then you?

Pritesh Shah: Of course, we don't wish that on anybody, but the reality of life is what you're seeing is definitely not what you're getting, really. I think a lot of people talk about how nothing external changes anything internal, but unfortunately people have to really, really experience that before they take it in. This whole notion. I have friends that are incredibly wealthy. I'd say one of my friends who struggled the most, who's needed a lot of emotional support and who's been at a very, very dark place, he's worth $500 million.

Pritesh Shah: He's getting a yacht made. He has everything materially than everyone could dream of. Do you know what he tells me in a saddest moments on the phone when he feels like there's no point of living anymore? He tells me, "You know what, Pritesh? I wish I didn't have one dime." He's like, "I really wish I had none of this." Imagine that.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Before I moved to LA, I was in New York. I was working here. I started my spiritual practice here, and before I moved here, I didn't know anyone in LA. I remember my father asked me, "So do you know anyone or where exactly will you set up your workspace or stuff?" I said, "I don't know. I don't even know the city. I've never been to LA before, but I don't know, something about it is calling me, but I do want to work with clients from Beverly Hills and Hollywood because I love cinema."

Chandresh Bhardwaj: So that was one thing in me. I was in my early 20s, and the intention manifested so organically. At one point, all I had was just clients from Beverly and Hollywood and then my intention... Human being, being a human being, right? My intention started switching that I don't want the Hollywood or Beverly energy anymore. I want to work with someone just a very random place in U.S. or somewhere else." Then I started switching my energy beyond LA, different country, beyond certain city.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I realized, I think as a human being our wiring keeps expanding. Once you manifest or experience the taste of it, you're like, "Oh, I got it. There's nothing special about it. Now let me taste the next special thing and then the next special." Because just like you, I grew up being very, very ambitious. I had a deadline in my head that up until when I hit 30, these things have to happen.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I remember being 28/29 and I could see that, you know what? My list is quite not moving the way I wanted, but I also realized even if I have not manifested what I wanted, but there are many other things that happen beyond my plan, beyond my expectation. Maybe I need to celebrate that, but it didn't happen overnight. Right now I'm 35 and I can tell you, if I was not grateful for that unplanned moments of surprises, beauty, joy, I would be depressed right now because mind had planned a certain layer that this is exactly how it should happen.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I think when you come from a different country and you are in a different place, you do have a certain pressure. I think my biggest pressure was always myself. I would look at myself and I'm like, "I need to make this happen." Thankfully I realized as a human being, I think my list will never end. I could be enlightening 10,000 people every hour and still my mind will say, "It's just 10,000. You should be enlightening 1 million people."

Chandresh Bhardwaj: There are teachers with that mission statement on their website, that my goal is to enlighten 1 million people or so-and-so. I feel happy. I feel grounded just knowing that I don't know what made it happen, but I'm slowly walking out of that circus, that race. It feels liberating because I know you have tasted that, being in the race and running as fast as you can.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I can see in your life also, you are moving out of that race. Somehow I feel that's when the real success will also happen, could be spiritual, material.

Pritesh Shah: Yeah. Well, I feel like... To add to what you were saying, I feel... I guess what I wanted to say with what you were saying that hit me, was like, instead of saying what I want, I started saying what I want to experience. Those are two different energies. Because when you say what you want, your ego gets very involved. It feels like a form of ownership. It's mine. It's not yours. It's not mine. Even say the money you have isn't your money. It's just your turn with it.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I love that.

Pritesh Shah: It's just my turn with it. If I have a dollar, I can say it's my dollar, but the moment I go buy something at Target and I use that dollar, it's no longer mine. It was just my turn with it and so it just allows you to have a less level of ownership of stuff. Even when it comes to auditions, I say, "Why am I not having, my friend's having this audition?" I realize well my energy changed.

Pritesh Shah: I told the universe like, "Give me something that's meant for me. I don't need to audition for a hundred parts if I'm not going to get any of them. I don't need that experience anymore." I'm not saying I'm above practice. Of course, I do that. It's hard to explain in words but I think when you experience it on your path, you just realize how much magic there is constantly. If you allow it, we're so connected. Nothing's coincidental.

Pritesh Shah: There's this beauty in the way the world works. The rat race has been a lot of manipulation from society to keep us in this fear and lack and not feeling good enough. If you ask me like, what got me out of it? The one thing is like, I just didn't like not feeling good, man. I don't like that feeling of not liking myself and not being... It almost makes me emotional thinking that so many of us don't like our own self. We've created that type of society that people look in the mirror just who they are in their own creation, and we don't like it.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I tell many of my students, especially after they have gone through a certain amount of work with me that now you'll have to sit doing nothing like for next 14 days. Take out 30 minutes a day, 20 minutes, especially when like a tantric ritual is happening Navaratri or something, I'll tell them, "For this one, do nothing. Just sit in silence, just be with yourself." They're like, "That's all? No intention, no mantra, none of the good old stuff?"

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I'm like, "No. For this one, let's just be in silence." They say yes, knowing that it must be super easy, but that turns out to be the most messy, the most ugly meditation experiences. I'm already prepared for it so I know after first day or two I am going to get a voice message that, "This is brutal. This is bad." I feel society has created this environment where it has become so tough to just be with yourself, even asking yourself, "Who am I?"

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I've seen people ultra-emotional, like meditating on who am I? It's such a simple statement, but people don't know who they are. I feel that's where spirituality, therapy, psychology, creative work can help a lot. Knowing who you are beyond your family's lens, beyond your culture's lens, beyond your social identity.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Speaking of this, do you want to talk about astrology? I know you tap into it a lot, but you tap into it in a way that most people in the West don't. I would love to share, I think this is something I want the audience to listen, how to tap into Vedic astrology or whatever form of astrology they are using. Go for it Pritesh.

Pritesh Shah: Well, I think, I mean, I know you've studied about it and you are way more well-versed in it than I am, but I would just say that, unfortunately I don't like to... I used to find myself getting quite upset about how in the West, we take things from other cultures and we culturally appropriate them. When I say culturally appropriate, has nothing to do with what you look like. I don't care if you're white, Black, gay, straight, it doesn't matter.

Pritesh Shah: None of those identities mean that if you weren't born... No, no, no. That's not true. Culture is meant to be shared. It's not meant to be owned, first of all. That's a very egoic thing. This is my culture. No, no, no, but culture definitely should be respected. We should understand where things come from, and then if you want to share it, because you've done consciously in a truthful, honorable place, whatever it is that you're learning or trying to share, you've dipped well deep in those waters, by all means you've earned sharing it and practicing it.

Pritesh Shah: The problem is people tip-toe and they get their feet wet and then they think they can start a class or they can talk about it. First, they're not honoring themselves and then they're also clearly disrespecting the culture or whatever they're... I'll preface astrology with that. The reason is because in the West, unfortunately, when we're talking about astrology, it's just turned into a Cosmopolitan Magazine.

Pritesh Shah: Yeah, from a light human place, it's fun that people have fun with it. Okay. It's not the worst thing in life. But I think at the deepest level, this is a very deep, deep science. The earliest books, if you read, is 15,000 years ago, that I've studied. When I say I study, I worked with a guy who really read the book 200 times because it's so above my head to decipher what's being said most of the time. I was studying under somebody, but it's not fatalistic.

Pritesh Shah: Even your sun sign is a symbolism of your ego and your energies and what makes you strive to get up in the morning, and that's also maybe 2 to 3% of who you are. I mean, all of our charts are deeply unique. There's conjunctions and degrees and different charts and transits and mahadashas and antardashas and it's a deeply, deeply complicated science, but there's a lot of truth and beauty in it. I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything. If you want to understand it, experience it.

Pritesh Shah: Just don't say no because you don't know what it is. Then it's just ignorance. It's less about, is this going to happen? Of course, a part of me used to use it like that. But really for me, it was about growing. Like what type of energies do I have? What are ways that I can grow? What does this lesson mean for me? How am I getting my life right? How am I transforming? That's how it's utilized for me. It's not utilizing it to just answer our anxious minds.

Pritesh Shah: Will I get married? Will I make money? Where will I live? Will I live a long time? Will I have kids? The typical questions. 99% of the time, I think we could agree those are the questions in some form. It's either job, money, your relationships and your life, like how long you're going to live. I realized those are stemming from a lot of anxiety, and this was more about, at the deepest level of Vedic is about transforming, working with your karma and growing and transforming in this lifetime as great as you can.

Pritesh Shah: For that, it's been an incredible experience for me of really understanding of where I've gotten a lot of insight from my ancestors really. I have half my charts in the 12th house for God's sake. It just made sense to me, I'll just speak from my experience. Like I said, I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything, but from my experience, it's been deeply humbling. It's humbled me a lot.

Pritesh Shah: This is not my doing really. My ancestors have opened up so many doors for me and I feel so connected to the universe and God. It's like magical to me. I realize why. Yeah.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I feel it takes away a lot of your ego and fear and insecurity when you dive into authentic astrology, spirituality and start to realize you are just a medium, you're... You know?

Pritesh Shah: That's it.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I remember feeling frustrated with the way tantra was just so misused-

Pritesh Shah: Sexualized.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Exactly. I was like, "I left my banking job. I'm trying my best, but seems like people only want that glamorized sexualized version of tantra." During that time, very randomly, I heard stories from my parents regarding my grandfather, great-grandfather and I realized you know what? What I'm doing, what I think I am doing is nothing compared to the seed they planted of tantra hundreds of years ago and what a privilege it is that I get to give water to that seed.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: But my ego, my cozy zone is a bit frustrated because it's not moving as per my expectation. Since that day, I think a lot of that pressure and a lot of hustle, a lot of aggression is just released. I think that's what tantra also teaches. Transmute whatever energy there is, anger, desires, temptations, keep transmuting. A lot of my anger and frustration with the modern interpretation of tantra started dissolving and transmuting into new creativity.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: That's when podcast really happened. That's when I also was so happy to not wanting to publish another book, because that was such a pressure. When is your next book coming? I was like, now onward, I'm only going to do things when I feel joyful. Leela happened when I was in a space that it could fail, it could be successful. It doesn't create any impact on me. I'm like, "If I'm not in that space, I'm not even going to work on Leela because if it fails or if it succeeds, I should be okay. Chandresh should be okay with both outcomes."

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Because I hate that feeling when everything is so depending on others' validation. Your piece of art, your creation, you are begging everybody, please do this, buy this. I'm like, "I want to be in a space where it doesn't create an impact." Like your friend said, things happen when you're not wanting them to happen. That's just how the universe works really, I think. I feel we got to let go of the pressure.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Authentic astrology, spirituality, meditation, they're great supporters, and just deleting that noise, eliminating that noise. Would you like to add anything else to it?

Pritesh Shah: Well, yeah, I mean, I would say the guru I was studying under, he said something that I think might be impactful for anyone listening, because I think the universal question always is, what free will? What's predestined? One answer to that is it doesn't matter. Because if it was free will or... That's just our ego wanting control. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't. He said it beautifully. He goes, "Imagine you're on a plane from LA to San Diego."

Pritesh Shah: He goes, "That's happening. That's your destiny. You're going to San Diego, no matter what you do, that's going to happen. What you do on the plane is your free will." To me, at least I'll speak on my behalf, that just hit me. It made sense. It made sense, because I really didn't know how to answer that, or did I even know if I had an answer for that? But I thought that was beautifully said. The reality is, we're so caught up on what we achieve or what we think we're achieving but the reality is it doesn't matter at all.

Pritesh Shah: It matters how you're responding or reacting to what's happening, that you've chosen to experience. What are you doing with what you're experiencing in life? Are you growing? You could have a yacht and a hundred billion dollars and be failing actually quite miserably if you don't have your energies together. There's nothing wrong with material wealth at all, there isn't.

Pritesh Shah: The thing is, if you're using that material wealth for your own transformation and the ability to transform those around you, what a beautiful resource? What a beautiful resource? What great karma to have that utility to transform yourself and those that you can help around you? What a beautiful thing, if you're using it in that light.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: This is my final question and I want you to share it with complete calmness and clarity because trust me, when people will listen to everything you're sharing, they would want to know, how can I go as deep into astrology like he did? How can I talk about karma meditation like he's doing? Because you are not a spiritual healer, you're an artist, you're an actor.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: That's why I wanted you on the podcast because if you are a spiritual healer or a meditation teacher, sure, you can talk about karma and all these great things, and that's just your job, right? It's just you are trained yourself to do this. But I find it fascinating when someone who's not labeled as a spiritual healer or teacher, but they talk about spirituality and karma and all these good things because it's kind of the balance I think we need in the world.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Spirituality should not be something luxury, something that should be only for specific people. I think you could be a plumber, doctor, accountant, anyone. Spirituality could be just who you are. It's a state of your being. I remember speaking to my extended family friends and they're parting and all, and many of my extended family friends or extended families, they always had a bit uneasiness that I moved into this work at a very young age, in my early 20s.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Because as you might have observed in India, spirituality is seen as this renunciation thing that you are leaving, going away from everything, the Buddha path. I remember they telling me, "So when you come to visit us, take off your meditation suit and just be as who you are." I'm like, "That's just who I am. There's no other side of me that you'll see. If I look bored, untrusting, happy, joyful, that's exactly you'll get even beyond that meditation stage."

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I realized that was a lot of perception. It might still is, but my personal hope and intention with everyone who's listening is they could be chef, artist, accounting, singer, whatever, but you could cultivate this state of being, doing whatever you're doing to earn your living or doing your creative job. What would be your situation to someone who doesn't want to be a teacher, but they want to be in touch with this wisdom and just live a mindful life? Is there a template, something that you trusted and it worked for you?

Pritesh Shah: Well, first, I think it's unfortunate at times that people dig into this work because they want to be teachers. It's very prominent in LA. Where they go into it already thinking, "I'm going to do this so I can teach it." I'm already going to do this so I can open a business." If I would suggest anything, it's like look, if you feel deeply called to it once you start the work from a deep, intentional, conscious place outside of your ego, then by all means do it.

Pritesh Shah: I would say, don't go into it for that. Because if you're going to have one thing that you go into, that's literally just about you, nothing societal, nothing material, for your own growth as a human being and to expand your consciousness as wide as you can... I mean, look, we live in this ocean of consciousness. I'm just trying to get as much of it as it can. I want the biggest bubble possible so I can experience life to the fullest and grasp and experience it at the highest, most incredible inquisitive, fun level.

Pritesh Shah: For me, it was just about 12 years after that experience I had, I just started... First book I read was Ask and It Is Given by Esther Hicks which opened my eyes to foregoing control, how the patterns and the flow of the universe worked. Like I said, my life's been very magical and very blessed because when I moved to LA, my dad was already obviously, and rightfully upset from where he was coming from, that's okay.

Pritesh Shah: I lived in a pretty bad area in LA and the man I lived with was meditating a lot. It might not be the nicest area, but he said, "Hey, why don't you meditate with me?" He started doing 27-minute meditations with me and teaching me how to meditate and got me into daily oms and quotes and poems. He's the one who actually introduced me to that book, Ask and It Is Given, and he gave it to me.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Wow.

Pritesh Shah: Although I only lived in that area and with him for three/four months and I wouldn't even let my parents come visit me because I knew the moment I did, my mom would cry and my dad would buy me a house. They would've been...

Chandresh Bhardwaj: [inaudible 00:59:18] by the way. I lived in a part of LA I didn't want my parents to come. It was-

Pritesh Shah: Exactly.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: It was so traumatic, man. But I'm glad it's over.

Pritesh Shah: Yeah. People were selling drugs in the corner. But the thing is, Chandresh, I am so grateful for that experience, because-

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Yeah. Me too.

Pritesh Shah: ... I knew I was down my right path because my life, I was always well taken care of. Financially, my dad did very well. I'm very grateful. Here I was in a bad area, but I was happy. That showed that I was down the right path. Secondly, here's a situation that most people would feel bad for me, yet here I am learning so much from this man.

Pritesh Shah: He was one of my angels because yeah my [inaudible 00:59:54] time with him was short. I only lived with him for a few months, but my God, he started the domino effect of going, "There's more to life than this."

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Wow.

Pritesh Shah: I just started a deep... I would suggest for everyone, and this may seem very quite LA I guess to say, but I would highly suggest people meditate or find some routine. It's not this idea... It's like... I feel like people get very scared or intimidated by that. It's like saying I have to go to the gym and look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and you don't, you just need to start going to the gym. Let the results happen as they may.

Pritesh Shah: For meditation, there's so much pressure I hear from friends that I've helped or talked about meditation with where it's like, "I don't know how to turn my thoughts off." I'm like, "Neither do I, and I've been doing it for 12 years." It's not about turning your thoughts off. It's about thoughts not owning you. It's just I've meditated and had violence thoughts. I've meditated and been like, "Man, I just want to punch that person in the face." I laugh. I laugh going, "Wow. My mind is so funny. Isn't that a funny thought I had?" You know?

Chandresh Bhardwaj: It's funny and I want to pick up two elements honestly, because you're not mentioning them, but I see it happening. You trusted that experience, Pritesh, right?

Pritesh Shah: Mm-hmm.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: You didn't resist. You wanted to trust because it was giving you some growth in some part of your journey. Secondly, what the Bhagavad Gita has said, do your karma, but don't aim for results. I heard this all my life, behind the trucks in India, auto rig shows, do your karma, don't expect the result. I think that's what meditation... That's what acting is all about, being an artist is all about. Show up for the art.

Pritesh Shah: I like that.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: But don't force the results. Force versus flow. Right?

Pritesh Shah: Exactly.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: That's what it is. Yeah, go for it. What else? Meditation. Yeah. Trust.

Pritesh Shah: Meditation. I was doing that a lot. Then 2017 life was good financially. I was okay. Great friends. Things were good on the outside. I still had some levels of sadness I was feeling. One of my friends, she goes, "You know what? There's this new studio that opened in Venice. Why don't I take you with me?" I said, "Okay." I happened to go in there and something just hit me. I took a Kundalini class and it felt amazing.

Pritesh Shah: Then I took a breathwork class and it healed so much. I started living there two hours a day for months. I was not caring about anything else. Like I said, my life's been so many blessings. They messed up when I signed up. Instead of giving me a free week, they gave me free two months.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Wow.

Pritesh Shah: I was stuck in this system. Here it was where it's like, "Hey, Pritesh, you little Gujarati boy. Money's not even an issue. You're going." It was so funny. I ended up having free two months and I was... When I say, Chandresh, I was living there.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Wow.

Pritesh Shah: I was there for a long period of time, and I realized, "Wow, nothing matters." I didn't care if I did an audition, or I didn't do this or I didn't go on a date or whatever it may be. I felt so much peace with myself and my life. It made me recognize and realize that the mental drama, even with my meditation practice, my mental drama that was still owning me, how much that was running my life. I'd say now, of course, that's all still there. It's just a lesser level. You just become better at things.

Pritesh Shah: Now when the mental drama starts, I can laugh because I realize it's not real. That's the funny thing, you don't have to stop it. It naturally stops because you don't give it as much attention, but the drama goes and you smile because instead of going, "Oh." Hyping yourself up and creating an illusion in your head to be mad or creating this situation in your mind to feel a certain way, it starts and you just smile and you disconnect and you just create... All meditation's done for me is create a little space between the truth of who I am and the drama.

Pritesh Shah: That way you kind of do better in the drama because no one can really do anything to you. What's going to happen? I don't get an audition that I feel like I'm rightful? Well, guess what? It wasn't meant for me, but I'm still here. Life's still good. I'm healthy and fine and have so much love in my life. I'm not denying it. I always time myself. I give myself 15 minutes to complain.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Oh, I love that. Wow.

Pritesh Shah: That's what I do. If I have a bad audition, I'll yell in the car. I might say some bad words. I might call a friend and go, "Heck with that casting director." I might complain and feel bad for myself and play the victim that I don't like, but I'll give my ego 10 to 15 minutes of attention on stage.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I like that.

Pritesh Shah: When I say 15 minutes, I mean it. I time it.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: You got to be disciplined with it. Yeah.

Pritesh Shah: The 15 minutes are done, that experience is over.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: You move on.

Pritesh Shah: Next. But I give it some time. It's okay. I'm a human. I'm not Buddha. I still have my experience. I get 15 minutes of me complaining like a little boy who has nothing else happening in life. But it's not the worst thing because that human drama, you can go, "Oh, wow. I experienced it." The problem is we'll carry that forever and ever and repress it and it'll become our identity.

Pritesh Shah: That's a big thing, is I see a lot of people wanting to heal and they face their trauma, but they never let it go. It doesn't do you any good. I think we're very obsessed with being self-aware. I always say, "I don't care what you know, I care what you do with what you know." If someone needs to lose weight and they know, "Oh, I'm..." I'm just giving an example, I'm at an unhealthy weight, but if you don't go to the gym and eat better, who cares that you knew that? Right? Doesn't matter.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I listen to Gary Vee when I need that strong yelling voice in my head, "Chandresh, show up for it. Do it." He says something very funny and I relate that with spirituality a lot. He says to be healthy is so simple, eat healthy, do a little workout every day, go for a walk. It's pretty simple. Three-step rule, eating, moving your body and pretty much that's it, and you could give it 20 to 30 minutes a day and you'll be okay.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: He said, but still people want to pay thousands of dollars when they are sick or they hire personal trainers, they make it so complicated. Instead, a 20 to 30-minute daily routine could actually get your job done if you're consistent and disciplined with it. When something is so simple, why do you make it so complicated? I see that with meditation, if 15 minutes of daily solitude can actually change your entire story, why are you making it so complicated by installing random apps every other day and not doing any of them?

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Just playing with them and then moving on next one, then moving on to next one, changing your podcast preference every other month that this month I'm listening to this. Then you're only experimenting. There's no real work happening on the field, but it's so simple. I feel creativity, spirituality is so simple and I think that's the problem. We don't want simple things. We like the complexity in life. If somebody tells you, "Oh, you could be self-aware if you trust, show up with some courage, act with calmness, you'll be fine." Your mind is like, "No, it cannot be that simple." The ego doesn't want that.

Pritesh Shah: It's natural for us to enjoy the drama because the bigger the drama, the better the distraction, right? The more things that stimulate our senses, the more it distracts us from our pain and insecurities and the childhood trauma and all that type of thing. The beautiful thing is in order to garner peace, at least for myself, and the more peace I've had to fill is the more work I do naturally, I need less noise.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Yeah. Absolutely.

Pritesh Shah: I drive a lot without music.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Oh, me too. Yeah.

Pritesh Shah: I never thought I'd be that person, because I love music.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Same here. Yeah.

Pritesh Shah: Sometimes the music feels... Even songs I like make me feel too chaotic.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Yeah. I know what you mean.

Pritesh Shah: I go, "What am I? Am I turning into a 75-year-old man?" Because when I was a kid and an uncle and auntie would be driving the car with no music, I'd be like, "What is wrong with you?" Now I'm just like, "I feel more at peace just driving. I like driving. I actually use it a lot to calm down. I just like driving around, looking at homes, looking at views. I love driving. I go, "Hmm, I'm enjoying that experience and actually the music's distracting me from the very experience I'm trying to have within the vehicle too."

Pritesh Shah: How funny is that? That... I forgot who said this? I think it's Sadhguru who discussed and he says a lot of amazing things about if you're watching a movie and you had a roommate who spoke all the time, you'd be like, "Shh, be quiet. Why are you talking? I'm trying to watch a film." Yet we watch films all the time and inside our head, we're thinking, "Oh, am I going to go to work? Is she going to meet me for the day?" We're our own worst roommate.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Yeah. That's so true.

Pritesh Shah: That hit me hard. I'm my own worst roommate all the time, so how do I become my best friend? How do I become my own sense of security? Your own love. Now when I'm in the dating world where I'm not searching for someone to fill a void, like I've done for such a long time to... I used to date women to make up for this abandonment that my inner child was feeling. It was not fair to the other person and nor was it fair to me, and it was building a foundation of trauma bonding between two individuals.

Pritesh Shah: I have my hand in it, of course, and I've lived and learned it. It just allows it to have more ease when meeting people, living life and just being myself. I mean, why would I want to be hired or do something where I'm not myself? Even playing a character that's not me, but it's still an essence of who I am. I don't want to be a part of something anyway, if the highest version of me can't show up and be there because that's what's going to be the most influential art in some way. Right?

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I can ask you I think 1000 more questions and this will never end, but for the sake of the podcast duration, we'll have to pause this conversation and I'm going to... I know we didn't discuss plenty of other delicious stuff that I had on my mind, but that's just I think how my podcast always flows. Even if it's a solo episode, the stuff I want to talk about, I don't talk about because something else will show up.

Pritesh Shah: Yeah, that's true.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: I really appreciate all your insights, Pritesh. I know the listeners are going to take notes on this and you bring in your own energy and humor to all the good stuff. Appreciate your time. Thank you for being part of the Leela podcast, and you're also the first man to be on the Leela podcast.

Pritesh Shah: Well, that's an honor. Thanks for having me, seriously. I always love talking to you. I grow a lot.

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Thank you, Pritesh. May the teachings of tantra continue to guide you and heal you, and I hope Leela Gurukul helps you to unlearn the old and embrace the unknown, mystical possibility unfolding for you. To support this podcast, share it among the seekers who are ready for the next step in their spiritual path.

Useful Links

Chandresh's YouTube Channel

Find Your Source of Happiness - 21 Day Challenge

Private Guidance Program with Chandresh

Buy the book - Break the Norms

Instagram: @cbmeditates