Being vs. Becoming
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In our society, the focus is so much on becoming something that this idea of becoming starts to take away from your reality. It starts to take you away from who you are beyond the labels and roles that you play for others. When you keep struggling to become this and that, you lose the courage to be yourself.
In this episode, Chandresh invites people to really understand and reflect upon the difference between being and becoming. Being is a state of awareness where you bloom, and express yourself creatively, fearlessly, and joyfully. Becoming is a state of mind where you are constantly hustling between the past and the future.
Have any questions or curiosities about your spiritual journey? Email Chandresh at askcb@leelagurukul.com.
Episode Transcript
Being is effortless. It's your natural state of blooming. Becoming is a product of mind. It's a script handed over to you by society. Take a deep breath, feel your heart, and drop all the becomings and be available to simply being here and now. I am Chandresh Bhardwaj, and this is Leela Gurukul. Namaste, everyone. I hope you are doing well. I hope you are feeling safe, relaxed, and grounded wherever you are. Before we get into today's topic, a reminder to visit LeelaGurukul.com and sign up for the wait list. The wait list is for the Conscious Meditation Program, where we have guided meditations, monthly live discussions, and plenty of talks and lectures on karmic contracts, ancestral healing, chakras, tantra, divine feminine, and so much more. If you are looking to deepen your awareness and look for a consistent spiritual guidance, Leela Gurukul is the space for you. And I do hope to see some of you joining in the next batch.
The wait list is important because those who are on the waitlist will be the first one to be notified. And once we meet our target for the next batch, the applications will be closed right away. Last time we had to close them within just two, three days. So be on the waitlist if you really feel this resonates with you. And now let's get into the topic for today, being who versus becoming. To understand the difference between being versus becoming, I want you to visualize two separate scenarios. Number one is the visualization of a seed when you plant it deep under the soil. You water it, you take care of it, and the seed starts to sprout. It comes out of the soil, it becomes a plant, and then slowly becomes a tree. And then that tree grows. In few years, it becomes a giant tree where you relax, you take selfies now, you do all the fun stuff, and the trees are more important than ever now.
But if you go back to find the seed under the soil, you won't find it because the seed has dissolved. To become a tree, it needed to happen. But when you looked at the seed, you couldn't imagine that this will grow into this giant strong, powerful tree. It looked just a tiny seed. But that's the beauty of seed, it had to be buried deep into the soil, surrounded with darkness, unknown, uncertainty, and just the trust was there. And when it became that plant, it was fragile, tender, very unpredictable. You didn't know if it would survive tomorrow. The weather, the animals, the humans, everyone is out there to crush that plant. But if it stays alive, if it stays nurtured, it turns into the tree. But the seed is gone, it's dissolved. There are so many interesting phases that happened to give birth to their tree.
The second scenario is the scenario of a river. I shared about this a long time ago in one of the podcasts, actually. So if you have heard of this River Ganga, or Ganges, it's a holy river, a very loved and sacred river in India. The Ganges is very interesting because people meditate around it, on it. They worship the river, they treat Ganga as a goddess. And the origin of Ganga is beautiful because it starts from those peaks of the mountains and three tiny rivers, not tiny, but tinier than Ganga. Those rivers join to become Ganga and then Ganga flows and then Ganga joins the ocean. So the identities change. If you can go into the ocean and you're like, "Let me find Ganga in it," we cannot find it. And if you are in Ganga or Ganges River, you won't find those many rivers that joined to make Ganga.
Those many rivers had to be dissolved, they had to let go of their identity so that the Ganga could take birth. And then Ganga had to let go of her identity so that it could join the ocean, the bigger picture. The point is, when you are simply into the state of being, the identities change, the roles change, the flow changes, you look different, you behave different, you speak a different language, and that's okay. That's what we define as the state of being. But our mind is interesting. Mind doesn't like the state of being. Instead, it likes the state of becoming, because the mind wants to make every unique experience a routine. It wants to recreate the same experience. I come across many students who tell me that they had an amazing experience in meditation, but that didn't happen after that. And each time they said they hoped that it would repeat, but it doesn't happen, so what's wrong with the meditation?
And I tell them, "There's nothing wrong with the meditation. There is something wrong with how you want to recreate the same experience. That's not going to happen." It's like saying, when you meet to our lower or your best friend or anyone that you truly love, you want to recreate exactly same emotion, same feeling, but you know that if you enforce the same emotional feeling, you are basically slowly murdering your love. You are butchering the entire idea, the essence of love, because it's not meant to repeat itself. It's organic. It will change. And one of the things we have been teaching and recommending to the Leela students is that there are going to be moments and phases where you may start to look different, dress differently, behave differently, speak in a unique way or do things in a unique way, or maybe you will end a very nice looking career to start something unknown.
This is how we are designed. We are not designed to rinse and repeat every single day. We are designed to start fresh. We are designed to live like a lion. When you're hungry, you go out, you hunt, and then you go back into the cave. You rest, you recharge, and you again show up. But we have become so fearful that we don't want to have a creative experience with life. Instead, we want to constantly become an idea of something, become a certain version of something. So two days ago, something interesting happened. I was on Netflix's Instagram channel to lead a live meditation and talk on mental health with my dear friend and student Logan Browning. And it was a great talk, a great discussion. I got a lot of love from that. And if you've missed it, you can go to Netflix's Instagram account and just browse those IGTV videos and you'll see me and Logan there.
And in the past many years, these kinds of opportunities showed up where big channels who would want me to do something on spirituality but they don't want me. They would want a version of me that would satisfy their trends, their numbers. I have been told this many times by various publishers, TV channels that, "You are amazing. You are very authentic. It's so great to come across a teacher like you. But we want a little TikTok spirituality so do you think you could do that?" And they were clearly looking for a performer. And I said, "I cannot do that and I will not do that, because this is not who I am. If I was that person, I would jump on it, but I don't want to become something simply because that will satisfy your trend, because if I do that for you, then I'll be doing that for someone else tomorrow, because my mind will start to become that kind of person who would want to become always."
And becoming is something I'm consciously trying to unlearn. When we are born, we are not encouraged to be. We are encouraged to become. The teachers tell you, "Become a good student. Become a better students. Become a disciplined student. Become an obedient student." Your parents will tell you, "Become this. Become better than your sister. Become better than your brother. Become this and that." Religion will tell you, "Become this and that." And becoming becomes this torture. And currently I think more than 90% of the population is suffering from this idea of becoming. And what I really loved about Netflix that they didn't ask me to become anything. In the last few years, there were producers and publishers and friends who would tell me, "You should I think let go of this idea that you will be simply who you are and they'll take you as you are, because that doesn't happen in media. So you have to become whatever they want you to become. That's just how it functions."
And I was like, "Then I'll be miserable. I'll feel terrible because every thing I've done so far, all the good fights I have indulged in, they were all to unlearn how I was taught to suffer. They were all about not becoming and simply being, and now for no real reason, I become something simply because a certain media outlet wants me to be that way. And if that means letting go of these so-called opportunities, I'm happy to do that. At least I can face myself in mirror with courage and with joy that I didn't compromise, I didn't become a clown in the circus. If I knew how to be a clown, I would happily be a clown. That's just not who I am." So when this Netflix thing happened, I truly appreciated no one in the room asked me to become something. I was expecting some very basic repeated questions that many people have asked me in the past, "Are you going to wear this meditation bead? Are you going to wear these kinds of clothes or do you change into some spiritual Hindu costume?"
All kinds of silly questions show up and I've become used to it, but they were absolutely fluid, open, relaxed, and very receptive of how we wanted to lead the conversation. And I think this is one of the reasons why the conversation went in such effortless flow. So if you watch it, do tag me, do let me know what you think of it, because that is a result of just me being stubborn with my being. And I feel when you become effortless with a certain element in you then your vibe attracts that kind of tribe. And I genuinely feel that this vibe attracted this opportunity where I didn't have to compromise on anything and simply attracted and manifested this beautiful state of being where I could share about mental health and meditation with such beautiful people. Now, if you're wondering how exactly we differentiate between being and becoming, there are a few interesting elements that I have picked for you guys, so pay attention to these and let's see what they unfold for you.
Being is always a result of being aware. Awareness is a state of being and being is a state of awareness. It's always new, always evolving. It doesn't have any reference points. So when you are simply being, you may not repeat the same mood, same reaction. So it could be your marriage anniversary, it could be your birthday, it could be one of those interesting occasions and you are expected to love, smile, cry in a certain way, but when you're in the state of being, you are just aware, you are in a new mood, in a new energy, and people might tell you, "You were so happy last year. What happened this year?" or, "You were so unhappy last year, but you're so happy this year." But the truth is there are no reference points when you are simply being, because you are beyond fair, you are beyond the drama of mind, beyond the circus of mind, and you are connected to your roots. So you are that giant tree we talked about who has dissolved. The seed has dissolved and it has become a tree.
So people who will show up from your past looking for that seed, they'll not find it. So some of those people will be angry with you that, "What you are not the seed anymore? Why you have become this tree? Because we cannot climb on you, we cannot jump on you, we cannot hurt you now." And tell them., "I am not the seed. I was buttered in the soil, but that's how I grew. The darkness, the unknown helped me to bloom and this is who I am now." When you are in state of being, there is no ego, no calculation, no comparison, no over analyzing, because you know that you are enough. You know that there is abundant love out there. There's abundant strength and safety out there. And when you are in this space of abundance and enoughness, the wholeness, the right relationships happen. The right tribe shows up, the right friendships show up, because in that state of being your vibe is attracting that right tribe.
How do you manifest this state of being then? Meditation, of course, but also the right actions, the right choices, the right tough decisions that you need to make. And I'll take a moment to briefly explain the becoming. Becoming is the state of mind. It's the product of mind. It's like a script that you are given and then you are expected to just learn the dialogues, memorize the whole reaction, and just become like a machine. When you are born, you're born as a pure consciousness. No religion, no culture, no civilization is on you. You are simply a state of pure creative possibility. That's all. But then they label you, you get a name, you get a religion, you are given certain belief systems, the fear of your parents start to show up for you because they'll project their fear, of course, on you. And slowly, gently that state of becoming starts to feed like a reality, because, unfortunately, everyone around you is also in the race of becoming.
Because no one is happy simply being, because if you are becoming, you will join the herd mentality, you join the crowd, and whenever you're in the crowd, no matter what the crowd is doing or saying, just that validation of crowd makes you feel that you're doing okay. In the state of becoming, you lose your identity because your sense of identity, your sense of life is coming from others and others become important in this process. You try to make sure that others are happy. You try to extract love from others. You try to get validation from others. And it's nothing but a life of fear, doubt, confusion, pain, suffering, and all of these elements, the anxiety, the sadness, the anger, they are reminding you that you are only becoming, you are not being.
So what can you do? Try to understand and observe the patterns of becoming. What are you trying to become and why are you trying to become that? And then ask yourself, how can I simply cultivate a state of being? How can I unlearn and go back to the state where I can just be, be the seed that I was designed to be? And the good thing with human consciousness is that you can rewire and restart the journey of being planted in the soil anytime and that would work for you. That's all for today. I would love to know how this episode resonates with you and what you learned from it. Do share it, do write a review on iTunes for the Leela Gurukul Podcast. The reviews are majorly helpful in supporting this podcast. Stay safe, be well, and we'll talk next week. May the teachings of tantra continue to guide you and heal you. And I hope Leela Gurukul helps you to unlearn the old and embrace the unknown mystical possibility unfolding for you. To support this podcast, share it among the seekers who are ready for the next step in their spiritual path.
Useful Links
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Private Guidance Program with Chandresh
