Episode Transcript

Speaker 1: Intention is not a goal. Intention is not the expectation that you enforce on your life. Intention is the conscious desire of your soul. It existed before this body existed, and it will continue to exist even after this body is gone. How do you know if you're setting the right intention? How do you work with them? Is there any way that you may set the wrong intentions that could hurt your spiritual path? Does an intention hold the power to override your destiny? Does an orgasm or sexual energy have anything to do with your intention? We'll go through these questions and many more in this episode. I'm Chandresh Bhardwaj and this is Leela Gurukul. Namaste, everyone. I hope you're feeling relaxed, safe, grounded, wherever you are. The year is about to end in another month or so. It's November 23rd as I'm recording this on year 2022. And my hope is this episode will continue to remind you, take you closer to your intention, to your vision, irrespective of what time of the year you listen to it.

Before we go into this episode, a reminder that now we have added a freebie, a free resources button on the leelagurukul.com. There is an entire worksheet to support this episode. The intention worksheet, which will be available on the free resources tab on the leelagurukul.com. And there are plenty of other free resources, eBooks, meditations, lectures, all free of cost for you on the Leela website. So make sure to sign up or add your email and you will be guided to download it. If you can't for any reason, not able to access it, just write to us at info@leelagurukul.com and someone from the team will assist you. And now, moving to the topic of intention. Intentions are a big theme in Leela Gurukul, among the students, among even the people who listen to the podcast and many of you write to me about intentions. And I feel I have talked a lot about intentions, and I wasn't even thinking of recording this episode about intentions, but a new set of questions showed up from many of you. And we also decided to create a worksheet for you that will help you go deeper in intentions.

Because although the topic of intention feel easy and simple on the surface level, but I've noticed when people go deep, a lot of complexity unfold for the intention. So first things to be cleared here are intentions and goals are not the same and we want to start off with that. A goal is the product of mind. A goal is a product of society. The more civilized, the more aggressive, hustling your society, your culture, your community is, the more goal oriented it's going to be. And if you actually go deeper into your goals, you'll notice almost every goal that you have, it has something to do with either the past or the future. There will always be element of comparison. There's always a reference point with your goals. And of course, there is hustling, aggression, competition that comes with the goals. I grew up, I think... I could say probably I was one of the goal oriented humans myself.

And the reason why or when I decided or not even decided, when I started feeling a bit of disconnect from the goals is when I started reaching the deadlines that I had set up for the goals. And I noticed none of those goals, or maybe some of them manifested, but on a very bare minimum level. And they didn't even give me any happiness. But on the other hand, so much of the other goodness was manifesting, unfolding, blooming. And that wasn't even part of my vision, but it was happening. And that made me think deeper about the energy of goal. And that was when I feel I started diving deeper into the concept of Leela. So Leela in tantra means play, play of consciousness. And Leela does remind us to move deeper into the intention. The tantric word for intention is sankalpa, S-A-N-K-A-L-P-A, sankalpa. Sankalpa means the conscious desire of your existence, of your soul, of your consciousness. And intention or sankalpa do not have a comparison with anyone. There's no reference point for them.

I'm going to use the analogy of seed a few times in this episode because a seed and a sankalpa, they do have very similar flow. When you think about your goals, you have all the calculation happening. But sankalpa works in a very non-calculative way. Sankalpa basically reminds us to come back to home, to come back to the source and I'll share my own example. When I was growing up in India in a small town, I wanted to be successful, I was ambitious. I had seen enough of ups and downs, be it financial or personal or emotional. That one thing was very clear to me. I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be emotionally bankrupted. I don't want to be financially bankrupted. I want to feel the goodness of life. I want to experience it. And being an Indian, the choices were very clearly thrown at you that you could either be a doctor or an engineer. And I didn't want to be either, but all of my friends and cousins, extended family, everyone was aiming for this.

And I realized the only way to escape that is probably choose third option and that was business. Even my business teachers in school told me, "You're good in studies. Why are you choosing business?" Because in India, in high school, you got to choose your major. And when I chose business, I was told by everyone, even had phone calls asking me, "Is something wrong with you? We can help. What's going on? Why are you choosing business?" And I was showing up in a very confident way to everyone that I really want to explore the business side. But deep down, that was only an escape from the medical or the engineering studies. So while I started going deeper into business, the spiritual side of me, the curious, spiritual seeker was always there. I've said this a few times on the podcast. I don't have a memory of my life when tantra or goddesses were not surrounding me. I've always experienced or seen or heard something about tantra, mantra, goddesses and that entire mystical world.

And I was still exploring that while I was going through all the business side and everything. And then I moved to New York but again, the spiritual side continued to run in the background. I was still writing for the college newspaper on spirituality. And one thing that was really interesting happening in those days, my goals and my sankalpa were having an interesting battle, as they always do. Goal and sankalpa will have an interesting battle. My friend. The goal was telling me, the mind was telling me, "You are in New York. You got the business major. You've got to be the best student. You've got to the best on Wall Street. You've got to be best in the stock market." And I was working hard and learning, getting great at it, making enough money as that young kid in his early twenties. But the awareness, the sankalpa side of me was reminding me, come back to home, come back to the source.

Now the problem is the goal, the mind was looking or appearing very clear because there are reference points. So if I want to be good in stock market, there were enough reference points, enough books, enough teachers, enough speakers, leaders, coaches who have lived that path, and I could aim to be one of them. So it felt familiar and even safe. They say known devil is better than unknown devil so that was the known devil. The non-demonic energy, it felt familiar, comfortable. And I used to read quite a bit in those days. So I was educating myself, getting great at finance, stock market, and it always felt familiar. And when people would ask me if you are ever going to join the lineage of your family, the tantric lineage. My answer would be instant no. The benchmark was at the peak high for me. It happened plenty of times in those days, it still happens. But those days, it used to happen so much. Strangers would walk to me in flights, trains, on the street, in a cafe, anywhere randomly.

They'll tap on my shoulder and they'll tell me, "I hope you know your path is to bring transformation. I hope your path is to serve the devi energy." They'll say this, smile and go away. It happened countless times. If I start writing, there will be too many of those experiences. And I, of course, would always deny those meetings and encounters. But deep down, there was a longing to explore, to search my inner self through meditation. And my dhyan in those days was a few hours, very deep, very unconditional, innocent. I wasn't seeking anything out of it. I was just showing up for the love of it. That's also the beauty of younger age. Your love is very pure. It's non-calculative, it's filled with warmth, it's filled with passion. That's all. And I really experienced it with my sadhana my meditation path. Absolutely. Now I'm glad... I started feeling very unhappy and frustrated, very unwanted, even on the Wall Street. And I realized the money, the glamour, the validation, the approval, it doesn't matter because deep down I'm starting to feel this is not my jungle.

And here's one thing I actually appreciate about myself. The moment I see a red flag, I step back. I do not wait for disaster to happen. I don't wait for some therapy to take place. I step back, I disconnect, I move away. I will remove myself from the drama, from the situation. So when I felt it once or twice or more than that, I started creating an exit plan from the world of Wall Street. I still enjoy reading Wall Street Journals. So I'm not saying I'm hating everything. It wasn't just for me. That's it. So I stepped back, I made an exit. And I realized one thing very clearly, sankalpa is not complicated. It's only telling you to come back to the heart, to come back to that calling. The problem is sankalpa felt very unfamiliar, unknown, scary, challenging, uncertain. There was no reference point. And you would think that I grew up in a family of tantric teachers. Why am I saying there was no reference point?

There was no reference point because my teachers have explored the path of tantra in their own way. And I come from a family of very rebellious, open-minded, unconventional teachers. Every tantra teacher is unconventional. And my teacher, my father, he has not followed the template set by my grandfather and grandpa didn't follow the template set by great-grandpa. They all have created their own unique path and version of tantra. So I had this open playground, a huge responsibility to actually explore my version of tantra and that's what felt scary. I had zero confidence, zero self worthiness. There was nothing clear. And I still remember, first time I actually defined and explored my path in spirituality as a professional teacher was when I hired someone to design my website and they said, "We need to write something on the about page. What do you do? Who are you?" And that was the first time I started defining this is what I do. This is who I am. And I think that was one of my most terrible writings to define what I do and who I am.

And it would only make me more nervous. And I thought of leaving this path many, many times, countless times because of only one thing, lack of safety. And when I say safety, that's secure net that we all seek in a job. So lack of that job security, lack of that familiar space, lack of the financial freedom, lack of my own confidence, and why I didn't leave? Because I would also feel strongly that I got to stay here and explore. I got to experiment. The reason I spent 16 minutes in just covering this is because I'm reminding you the path to sankalpa, the path to intention is not always clear. It's filled with uncertainty and unpredictability. It's filled with confusion, doubt and your mind may start to tell you're losing the plot, because mind wants you to come back to the safe and the familiar and the predictable. But that's not where the growth happens. The growth happens in the unknown because life thrives in the unknown. The only thing that I can tell you really, really could support you is consistency.

Be consistent, fail early, fail better, and be consistent with it. If you give up too quickly, too easily, that only means you haven't even tried enough. And now I'm going to explain how to actually work with intention. How do you go there? Now, sankalpa doesn't want you to be perfectly clear with your vision, with your plan. Now, let's say there is a vision in your mind that you want to be a writer. I'll stick to example of a writer,. Hopefully this template will help you to expand your mind. Now, if you wish to be a writer, what exactly it needs, what elements, what characteristic, what kind of environment will support the writer in you? And I think we could agree on few things there. Discipline is needed. If you don't have discipline, you can't show up for writing. Curiosity is needed. If you are not curious about life, about things, that's not going to be good for your writing.

Clarity, creative, courage, these are few things that support you. Now the path to writing a book or creating a blog, or even creating a podcast. It's not fun all the time because you are navigating a lot of uncertainty in the process. So first step is to only figure out what exactly do I need here? What element would help me to take the next step ahead? Only the next step, not the next five years, not the next two years. This is why my standard go to intention is to lead with calmness, courage, and clarity. Because I've noticed these three elements really help the seekers to move to the next step because calmness is not fully present in our mind because anxiety is there, confusion is there. Courage is not fully present because we constantly seek approvals and validations from others. Clarity's not there because there's so much noise out there and you don't know what direction to follow. So my go-to element is always triple C, calmness, courage, and clarity.

So you could think of this particular element, any three elements that will support you. That will make you feel excited, that will make you feel fully alive. That will bring some interesting fun energy in your body, in your emotions. And how do you know if you're setting the right intention? There is no such thing as that perfect right intention. We are always playing with seeds in the hand really, because let's say you have a ground and you want to plant seeds. Seeds of apple trees or mango trees. I think I'm craving a good mango. In India, they have amazing variety of mangoes. So when the season begins, I always look for the perfect mangoes, either in New York or from India. But anyway, coming back to the intention, the seeds, the mangoes. Let's say you got the seeds of mango trees and the ground is there and it's snowing right now, do you just sprinkle the seeds on snow?

Definitely not. What do you do? You wait for the snow to melt. You wait for the season to come back. Then you again, don't just throw the seeds on the ground. You make sure the soil is perfectly ready for the seeds. You clear out the weeds and then you plant the seeds. And after you plant the seeds, you nurture the seeds, you pour the water, ingredients, you step back, watch the seeds to grow, then seeds become plants. Plants become trees. Trees become lush and green. And the last thing on a mango tree is mango, it's not the first thing or the second or the middle. It's the last thing from planting the seed, till watching that first mango appearing on their tree. It's a process of patience and trust. And these two elements you've got to be reminded of again and again because people love the idea of intention, but everyone wants an instant gratification. And if that's what you want with your sankalpa, then my friend, you are in the wrong place.

And it's not going to work out even if you follow law for attraction or any secret formula out there, because the good things in life take time. And my experience tells me only good things take time because then they stay with you, then they grow with you. And how do you know the intention is working? You know the intention is working because you're alive. It's moving. It's not stagnant anymore. It may not be moving exactly as you wanted. It may not be moving as per your script and expectation, but it is moving to a direction of creativity. Things are moving. And there's of course, this goddess Kali energy that's showing up, which means some dismantling, some destruction, some detox is happening. And it's important when you start the process of planting the intention, some detox has to happen, some destruction has to happen. Some friendships, shallow relationships will finally and thankfully start to leave your life because you don't want that. Now, intentions show up in two different ways.

One appearance they make and they have to make is in the meditation. So when I begin the meditation, I encourage the Leela students to think of intention in the right beginning so that you're focused. For example, let's say my intention is to move forward with calmness, courage, and clarity. So you remind yourself of it, then you go through the meditation, and then in the last few minutes, when your energy isn't that perfect, zero consciousness, open space. That's when you invite the intention that as I'm about to conclude my meditation, I'm devoting this meditation to my intention of moving forward with calmness, clarity, and courage. I'm inviting all the right energy, love, support to unfold this intention. And the second appearance of this intention is when you are actually living your daily life, you're not sitting on the meditation mat. You are going through the life and that's when you invite in the actions to move forward with calmness, courage, and clarity.

So when things show up where there is confusion, you pause and you question, am I not moving with calmness there? Am I lacking courage? What can I do to bring the courage? Let me invite in some clarity here, because things are moving a bit impulsively. Let me breathe and invite in some clarity. And until I don't have it, I'll not take the step ahead. So the combination of spiritual and material energy together really bring a very solid energy in your intention. And I want you to observe, the plan is to become a writer but I'm not even mentioning the word writing in the intention because becoming a writer is the outcome.

Being financially successful is the outcome. Being an artist is the outcome. In the beginning, we are not at all concerned about the outcome because we are only concerned about the environment. When you plant the seeds, and if you start to negotiate with the store that I'm going to buy a hundred seeds from you, can you promise it's going to bring 10,000 mangoes? And they have to be perfect, the store person will say, "You know what? I don't even want to sell you the seeds because who asked this question?" You can buy a hundred seeds or 10,000 seeds. Once you buy the seeds, it's between the seeds and the nature, the seeds and the universe, the temperature out there. There are forces that we cannot control, but you got to make sure you are doing your job correctly, but you cannot just enforce the outcome. So becoming a writer comes way, way later. We are only focusing on the energy first, the environment then you start to see the magic happening.

Now, how many intentions should you work with at one time? Or what do you do once the intention starts to take place? I recommend stick to one. I used to say stick to two or three. And I noticed every student started enforcing two or three intentions. And I felt that's too much of energy given to intentions. Let's stick to one. So just one intention is good for now. Once you start to feel some rooted energy happening there, some momentum building up there, then you can invite in the second one. Once you see the second one happening only and only then think of third and stop at three because then there's going to be too much of plan, too much of overthinking, too much of everything happening. Keep it simple. Always keep it simple. Too many intentions, too many visions, too many desires, they're not going to serve you too well. Now the next part is there a wrong intention or something that can harm your spiritual path or your spiritual growth?

There's nothing that could harm you, but there are intentions that can just keep you stagnant. That may make you feel you are on some adventurous ride, but you're not moving anywhere. And that happens when people tend to focus too much on the outcome, when people start to focus too much on the external. I've had a student whose intention was to become a wellness expert who could transform lives of millions. Now, it's a noble intention. You want to change lives of millions. But certainly your intention is not about you. It's about serving millions. And what's the why of it? What's causing you to... What's invoking this thought, this ambition of changing lives of millions? Is it your ego? Is it your ambition? Is it financial interest? Is it just your own loneliness and anger with life that you want to just change lives of millions? The moment intention leaves you and become about something else, that's not a good intention.

I've had women who would show up in the group talks and they would say, "My intention is to build a better relationship with my daughter. My intention is to be a better wife to my husband." So the intention is certainly not about you. It's about your husband, your children, your employer. That cannot be a good intention, but think about what would make you a better friend? What would make you a better lover, a better wife, better partner, better artist? Then think of those elements, then bring those elements in your intention. It could be element of playfulness, element of emotional strength, any element that could support and empower. That's where your intention is hiding. And another question here is there a right way to support intentions?

And what if they're not moving anywhere? The right way to support intention is through patience, through trust. You cannot keep checking the seeds every other day or every other week even. You got to give it some time, and you got to make sure you are doing your part. You are doing all the things that it demands, that it requires. That's the only right way. Do not change the intentions too quickly. Don't be impulsive with it. Don't let fear, doubt, insecurity drive the intention. And if you feel they're not moving at all anywhere, relax, pause and reflect on the why of it. Reflect on what's happening there. Do I need to understand something, is there a pattern? Is there something that's not mine? And I'm focusing too much on the external.

And next question is, how does a sankalpa help in overriding destiny? So destiny does exist. Astrology does have its relevance. If you do nothing with your life and you show up as it is every day, in your own fears, doubts, insecurities, unconscious way of life, then of course you're going to be at the mercy of your planetary positions, your destiny. Nothing will change, but intention could fuel your destiny to move in the right direction. Intention could fuel your karma to move in the right direction. Intention fuels the dharma also, your purpose. Intention is really the fuel, the first seed you plant. Because if intention, if sankalpa is not there, then you could be moving in plenty of different directions and nothing will happen. In my experience with Leela students, intention, meditation and action, these three support each other. You plant the right intention, you stick to it, you consistently water it, nurture it.

You show up in the meditation consistently, then you do the right actions, take the right actions. And many actions here would involve accepting and doing things and many actions will involve letting go and saying goodbye to certain things. And we got two important questions to address. One of them is, what if someone has gone through an emotional, physical, or sexual abuse? How should they work with the sankalpa? So there is of course going to be resistance, fear, even lack of that trust when it comes to doing something so sacred. So your first sankalpa should involve bringing in their trust, bringing in that self worthiness. That you absolutely deserve to live a life that's free from your past, that's free from the actions of someone else. Your first sankalpa has to be about bringing in the safety, the warmth, the love that you absolutely deserve, because that is a detox that you need to go through. Remember, always remember the concept, the analogy of seeds. We cannot simply throw the seeds on the ground.

We got to navigate the ground pretty well, and we got to learn the ground first. And your ground here, my friend, is the lower three chakras. You got to understand, what does my ground, my seed, my foundation tell me? Is there enough trust? Is there any deep hurt from someone else? Is there a doubt, a story, a narrative that I'm telling myself here that may limit my sankalpa? So the first step here would be to invite in the sankalpa, actually just living in trust. And you'll start to notice your life, your circumstances, the actions they do start to move very interestingly around that sankalpa. And the last question here is, how does an orgasm or sexual energy affect the sankalpa? Now, I started reading or hearing a lot of interesting narrative around it, that when there is moment of that orgasm. It could be the self-pleasure or during sex with someone when you're going through orgasm, that's the perfect time to release your sankalpa, think of sankalpa because that is the moment of manifestation.

Now, I hate to break this to you. Orgasm is not the right time for manifestation or releasing sankalpa. The reason why an orgasm may feel so beautiful or wonderful for you to release sankalpa, intention, your goals out there, because it's the moment of egolessness. It's the moment where you sort of forget your identity for a moment. You forget who you are, what your grudges are, what your pains are, and you are just in that unknown, sweet, beautiful energy. My recommendation is enjoy orgasms. Don't make them about manifestations. When you're going through an orgasm, be available to the infinity, be available to the life energy. Not everything has to be a utility, a machine, to get the work done right. I think this is where we are moving far, far away from playfulness of life because we have made everything a utility, relationships, spiritual practices, dating, intimacy, writing a book, creating a podcast. Everything has become about what am I getting out of it?

What am I gaining out of it? We are constantly listening, consuming information because we want something out of that podcast or lecture or a book. Why can't we simply show up for an experience for the sake of it? Please give this gift to your orgasms. Be available to them. Do not make them a gateway to manifest your goals, to manifest your visions, which may completely change after a year or two, but you're missing out on a good orgasm. So my only take is come back to your source, come back to the heart, invest some time and energy in your sankalpas, and visit leelagurukul.com and go to the resources tab and you will see a tab on the intention worksheet. This is also our December 2022 offering. So if you are listening right when the podcast is released, you're going to see a link on the Instagram, on the website to get your free guide on intention worksheet. This episode plus the worksheet is all you need to create a solid, powerful, and a supporting sankalpa for you. That's all for today. Be safe. Be well.

Useful Links

Chandresh's YouTube Channel

Find Your Source of Happiness - 21 Day Challenge

Private Guidance Program with Chandresh

Buy the book - Break the Norms

Instagram: @cbmeditates