Emotional Triggers
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In this episode, Chandresh reflects on the nature of triggers in today’s society. We live in a very interesting time where people become triggered by anything and everything. Whether it is social media, the news, family, etc. The collective anxiety has multiplied these emotional triggers for everyone. Chandresh shares his own perspective and experience along with the tantra perspective on how to handle, understand and reflect deeper on your emotional triggers. This way they do not consume you, exhaust you, and you are able to handle them and go beyond them in a much more mindful way.
Have any questions or curiosities about your spiritual journey? Email Chandresh at askcb@leelagurukul.com.
Episode Transcript
Spirituality doesn't teach us to accept it all blindly. It teaches us to witness the roots, cultivate conscious choices, and transcend the darkness so that we can become available to the light. Spirituality reminds us that when the night gets darker, the morning is not too far away. Let these thoughts, these words, sink deeper into your awareness. Take a few breaths, relax the body, and let's invite the courage, the clarity to understand our emotional triggers a little deeper in this episode. I am Chandresh Bhardwaj, and this is Leela Gurukul.
Namaste, everyone. I hope you're feeling relaxed, grounded, and connected wherever you are. Two important updates before we get into today's topic. October 7th to 14th of this year, 2021 is the Navratri Ritual, the nine nights of celebrating the divine feminine, the nine nights of celebrating that higher consciousness. It's one of the most auspicious, sacred times to expand your awareness, to receive the new strength, and to really put your intentions into a deeper space. I may be in silence or going through rituals during those days and I may not work on any episode during that time. So here's a reminder to mark this date on your calendar, October 7th to 14th, 2021, and use these days to deepen your meditation, increase the duration of your meditation, go a little deeper into your self-reflect, and avoid any casual meetings because casual meetings, lead to gossip, toxic energy, heavy energy at times, and sometimes you just receive the energy that you don't want to.
And I recommend use these Navratri days to build a relationship with yourself. And trust me, if you have never tried the meditation during these rituals, you'll be amazed how significantly your energy changes. And those who continue to join me in Navratri through Leela and through other platforms, I'm excited that you'll be diving into this again. Second reminder is the reminder to send in your applications for Leela. I have started speaking to new students. They all are amazing. I'm so thankful because it's the students that make or break the Leela universe. So I'm really excited to meet new students, speaking to them, and the ones I've spoken to already are just pureful. And I know some of you are holding back the strength, the courage to go into Leela. Some of you may think, "Maybe I'm not ready," and the truth is you will never feel ready. I still don't feel ready for many rituals. So we never feel ready.
And what's holding you back is your own doubt. It's the lack of courage, lack of strength, and it's that negativity, that heaviness that has always reminded us we are not enough. We are not worthy of this. But let me tell you, you are absolutely worthy of all the new beginnings that's waiting to happen for you. So apply for Leela also because I will be doing all the one-on-one consultations through Leela from now onward. So that means, if you ever wanted to work with me one on one, Leela is the right space to be in. And if there's anything holding you back, let us know. Our goal is not to invite a huge crowd into Leela. Our goal is to have curious seekers who are interested in these small intimate group gatherings to raise awareness, to understand awareness, and to go beyond the mind. So go to leelagurukul.com, apply for the program even if you have any questions. Go to the website, apply, and we'll be more than happy to answer you, get on a call with you, and make it happen for you.
And now, let's begin today's topic, emotional triggers. I've been wanting to do this one for a while, but I think now is such a beautiful time for it because I have been noticing that the triggers have multiplied for everyone. It used to be this inside joke many years ago that whenever I write about embracing the aloneness or when I write about love and attachment are two different things, or when I write about love is not what you do, love is what you are, it would invite many angry messages, angry comments. And I understand. Everyone teaches you to be attached with the family, so if someone starts telling you, "Attachment is not good and attachment is not love," it could trigger some people. Everyone has been through their own experiences, their own traumas so I completely have total compassion, especially because I ended up speaking to many of these people who would send in angry messages.
And I would say, "Whenever I have spoken, if the communication is two way, it mostly resulted in just compassion, love, friendship," and most of them ended up joining the social space or whatever I was offering in those days. But lately, it's not these unconventional ideas about love, relationships, or life that are bringing triggers. Lately, I've been seeing, even if I'm telling people, how about practicing calmness? How about breathing? Even that's bringing in angry messages. Just before this episode, I check my Facebook message. I didn't even check those Facebook page messages because I don't know where is Facebook going these days. So I haven't been on Facebook page in a long time. So this morning, I was just going through the posts on Facebook page and the messages, and I saw this person commented on a simple picture where I wrote, "Breathe." That's all, just "Breathe."
And she wrote a very angry message. "Why are you telling me to breathe? Do you think breathing will solve everything? People in spiritual community feel breathing will solve everything." So I responded to her and I sent very calming, mindful response, and I heard back, and she apologized. She apologized for reacting. And I said, "No, you actually help me to record the podcast because I'm going into this recording but I'm also so impressed that you accepted the reaction, because when we don't accept the reactions, we keep repeating them." So it was a very wonderful conversation with this person. But this is interesting for me to witness that, a few years ago, when I share something unconventional, it may bring triggers, but now something as simple as "Breathe", it could trigger people. What is happening, why this is happening, and why we are seeing emotional triggers within us, around us, more than ever? If I take into the Ayurveda concept, the way our global weather is changing, that's also contributing to the mood swings, the emotional triggers, to some extent.
For example, in Ayurveda, we have dosha system, and each dosha tells you that during these hours do not do anything. During these hours stay relaxed. So my dosha is pitta, and I remember my Ayurveda doctor many years ago, I was in college at that time, she told me, "Do not meet the people you love from 12:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. because you are not going to respond too well to that conversation." And she's right. I mean, through meditation, through a mindful observation of my emotions, I've been able to understand and manage those emotions really well, but not many people know I still do not schedule meetings during these hours. I would schedule meetings, if I'm home, if it's a Zoom meeting, but if I had to go out, I would avoid going out if it's too hot. It just does not work well with my system. And many people ask me, "You are from India and that's surprising you don't react too well to hot weather." So India is a huge country. I grew up in the mountains.
So, for me, rain, cold weather, that's the feeling of safety. When it's too hot, I don't like to step out. And that would affect my triggers. I've always seen that. You could be saying something to me or something could be happening, I would respond to it very differently if it was happening early morning or late evening, especially late evening. Anything I do after 7:00 p.m. is just perfect for me. It's the most healing thing. So understand your dosha system, first of all. You can even Google "Dosha Quiz" and Google will give you plenty of results for that. My dear friend, Sahara Rose has dosha quizzes I know, and many other wonderful friends I have in the Ayurveda community, they all have dosha quizzes now. So explore that space. Explore the Ayurveda system you have. But the funny thing is, I wasn't even planning to talk about Ayurveda because I'm not an Ayurveda doctor. But yeah, I'm glad it showed up, because we all need to have the Ayurveda wisdom, no matter what. It will just change your life the more you go into it.
But before I step even deeper into triggers through tantra, through the meditation point of view, I want you to understand trauma, triggers, anxieties, they all play with each other. So what could be a trigger to me may be nothing to you, or what could be your trigger may be very alien to me. I feel we all have such unique trigger points, we all have such a unique system, and we respond to things differently and it's very important to hold the right space for our triggers and also for others. You may come across someone who could be triggered when you offer them food. But you have to hold the space for that trigger. When you start holding the space for anyone who's going through their emotional trigger, you not only help them, but you also help yourself through this practice of calm ness, patience, and I think a little love. We all can use these elements. And there are some triggers that I know for sure can be easily worked on through meditation, through yoga practice, through more self-reflection, through Ayurveda.
But some of you may be going through triggers that are way too deep, that are no more emotional triggers, they have become some sort of physical illness. They have become some sort of deep trauma. In that case, I highly recommend you speak to the right person, a doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist, anyone that you think will help you in building that healing. I feel a combination of science and spirituality is never bad. It's always helpful. But you have to walk into it with trust, gratitude, and awareness. So first step in this whole process is to really accept and understand, what are my triggers? It may not be revealed right away because some of us are happily bypassing them. We are trained to bypass them. We are trained to just look at the symptoms. So maybe, through meditation, if you have a therapist, through the therapy session, get to know, what are your triggers? What brings you that emotional uneasiness? What makes you angry? What makes you go a little weaker in your emotions.
And why we need to understand the triggers, because if they are triggers that are bringing you mental weakness, fear, doubt, they'll keep on multiplying if you don't pause. They'll keep multiplying if you don't understand their signs. And reactions build this chain, they build this vicious cycle, and no matter with whom you are, where you are, they'll keep repeating. Now, I have worked with couples where sometimes one of the partners will keep complaining about one thing, that "my partner doesn't do this. They always repeat the same behavior." So, finally, when that particular partner stops repeating that behavior, the other partner gets even more angry because now they have nothing to complain about. So funny thing is, their mind has become so used to reacting to their partner's behavior that when that behavior disappears, we don't know what to do. But this is the trick of these reactions, the trick of these mind-related reactions. They'll keep wanting some drama out of you. They keep wanting some sort of craziness out of you.
I always wonder when I'm driving on the road, and if there is someone driving slow, if there's someone driving a little bit here and there, not dangerous, but maybe a little slower, the other drivers get really angry. Let's say the light turned from red to green and the driver in the front takes two seconds to make a right, the drivers behind that car, they start to get angry. And this is just the reaction of the mind and body. And we have become so fragile with our reactions we don't even know how to manage them anymore. And as I said, we are in the times that people are even reacting when someone says "Breathe." This is not at all a good situation and I have mentioned this in the last year episode that we are slowly moving to self destruction. I don't think we need any aliens to come here or any zombies to just end the human race. I think we are doing a lot of stuff on a daily basis to extinct the human species, and it's not good. Not at all good. It's scary. It's sad. It's tragic.
So I don't expect that you and I can change the entire world, but if you work on yourself, maybe you'll inspire one more person and maybe that one person will inspire one more person. And I feel even that's something, they're not doing anything at all. So work on what triggers are showing up, where they show up, with what kind of situation they show up, and it will be an effort to understand the software of your mind, because mind doesn't understand the new language easily. You need to teach it, that this is my self-love language now, this is my self-compassion language now, and I need to really change the way I speak to myself, the way I perceive my existence. And those who are wondering, what could be the tantra perspective on triggers? Tantra, as always, isn't judging these triggers. Tantra is not saying that these triggers make you a terrible person. Instead, tantra is inviting you to use these triggers, and that's my personal suggestion as well.
This is what I have done with my triggers. Instead of suppressing them, instead of fixing the symptoms, I started understanding the root of those triggers, and this is what I do with all my students. And I think one of the fascinating things I learned during the Leela Program was watching a group going through their more emotional triggers, and during meditation, during these self-reflective group discussions, they started making use of those triggers without suppressing them, without bypassing them. And I know, for sure, this method will not fail, but you have to be disciplined, consistent, and you have to have a certain love and reverence for yourself, because otherwise you may not maintain that discipline. To understand the tantra perspective, think about the lotus. A Lotus in the mud will always bloom, and so will you. But imagine if you were the Lotus in the mud, if human was the lotus in that mud, I don't think we would do well.
Because we'll have the pressure that, "Look at other flowers. They're blooming in the mountains. They are so beautiful in those big mansions. And I'm here in the mud. I am in such a terrible place. God has punished me. My parents didn't take care of me. Look at my friends, they're far away in those beautiful gardens. People are taking selfies with them. And who am I? A flower in the mud, that's terrible." I know for sure that human being will not do well if it was a lotus in the mud, only because we constantly live through comparisons, through calculations, through competition. We don't know how else to look at our existence if it's not in reference to our fellow human being. And this is why cultivate jealousy, competition. Life has become all about winning some sort of rat race for us and never about experiencing what is happening.
But I want you to stick to this lotus in the mud image in your awareness, because you'll realize a lotus starts to use all that's available to it. It starts to renew all its power, all its energy, and it starts to bloom so beautifully. And because it embraced itself in the mud, the poets started writing poetry. The spiritual teachers started using lotus in the mud as a great example. And it has been happening since ages. Lotus in the mud has become this beautiful reminder to embrace your strength. And this is how it can work for you too. If you embrace where you are, if you honor and understand the signs of where you are, you'll not fail. So once you understand the emotional triggers, the challenges, the emotional anxiety that show up, understand the root of it, where it is holding itself. For many people, the stomach, the navel center, the belly area, that's where a lot of triggers are. And that affects the digestion system, that affects your creative energy, your sexual energy, and many people start to become productive, over-productive, and forget that there is something called creativity.
So they replace creativity with productivity, but shifting the gear of triggers will require you to come back to creativity and release the need to be productive. There needs to be creative, to be playful, and still do the work you do. You can absolutely have fun even while working as an accountant and still find time to play, still find time to be who you are. I mentioned Ayurveda already. Along with Ayurveda, I'm going to mention Yoga Pranayama. So Pranayama are the breathing exercises, and I feel if I could mention just one Pranayama to release the emotional triggers or to understand or have a stronger grip on them, that would be the Kapalabhati Pranayama. It's pumping out the breath in a systematic way. You could just look it up on YouTube and you'll find plenty of helpful tutorials. Start doing it five minutes a day, then do it 10 minutes, then 15 minutes. And trust me, it's going to release a lot of stored up emotion around your navel. It's going to release a lot of what you're holding back around the navel.
And another step you can do before you meditate, shake the energy. You could actually jump. You could scream. You could have a dance. Move your body in a strong, intense way so that it can really release all that you are holding within. There are tantra meditations where people are invited to just cry, to just laugh, just dance, and then go into a deeper silence. Tantra is going to invite you to be a wild, child-like, untamed being where you're not being civilized anymore, where you're not being apologetic about your emotions. So use whatever works for you to go beyond the mind. You can move the body before meditation. You can go through your emotions. There's no need to witness anything there. Just be yourself. There's a podcast I recorded long time ago. I think it was titled The Roles We Play In Life, and I mentioned a story about a king who would always just scream, jump, do whatever he wants to do, and that was his secret of super power.
The calmness and clarity will not happen if we are so consumed by constantly feeling the stiffness in the body. When you are around the family, your work contacts, your office people, you have to be in a certain way, but that's why it's important to step out of that zone so that you don't have to be how others want you to be so that you can be just you. And that consistent practice of really the emotions through shaking the energy will be important. Do not go through 50 experiments. Go through a few experiments then stick to them. People are doing many experiments, they don't stick to any single one of them, and I feel that's where they miss the point. So practice a few, then stay consistent and loyal to those practices. You could even go to therapy. You could do the mantra chanting loud. That's very powerful as well. Anything that releases the emotions out through words, through dancing, through meditation, all of that will help.
And, eventually, come back to channeling and using those triggers. Channel those triggers through creativity. Understand, how can I make the best of these triggers? How can I do something that will not deplete my strength, but expand my strength using whatever I already am? The mind will tell you to change. The mind will tell you to fix. The mind will tell you to repair. But trust me, the most beautiful organic repair is the one where you start using your flaws as your strength when you start to use your pain into creating something healing for yourself and others. But it's something you have to explore on your own. Do not depend on any external voice for that. That's all for today. I hope it helps and I'm excited to know how many of you will step into understanding and channeling your emotional triggers. Be safe. I'll speak to you next week.
May the teachings of tantra continue to guide you and heal you. And I hope Leela Gurukul helps you to unlearn the old and embrace the unknown mystical possibility unfolding for you. To support this podcast, share it among the seekers who are ready for the next step in their spiritual path.
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