Episode Transcript

What makes you an artist? How do you know if you possess the qualities of an artist within you? Is there a relationship between tantra, goddesses and art? In this episode, we'll dive into a profound exploration, an exploration of the question that resonates with so many of us who is an artist. So whether you are already an artist or you're working in a very logical technical industry, and don't consider yourself as a conventional artist, but somewhere within you, there is a longing to find that artist, to keep that artist alive, then this episode is for you.

We'll dive deep into the essence of creativity, healing, tantra and art in this episode. I'm Chandresh Bhardwaj, and this is Leela Gurukul. Namaste, everyone. I hope you're feeling easy, cozy, and safe today. If this is your first time listening to Leela Gurukul, I appreciate you here. I welcome you here. And the usual suspects, I continue to be so grateful for you.

Maybe some of you have been realizing a subtle transition happening to the Leela Gurukul, not just the membership space, but also in terms of the work that I've been consciously creating specifically toward the artist and storytellers. I want to share the context behind it and why I'm doing it. And before I go there, I'm excited, grateful to share that the work for tantra membership is happening on the ground level.

I'm discussing meditations and doing surveys, speaking to my team, students, paying attention to what exactly is the challenge you are looking to resolve and how can Leela membership can solve it. So stay tuned, and if you have not subscribed to the newsletter, go for it. Do it. It's a weekly love letter to that divine consciousness. And somewhere between that love letter I know you'll find yourself to. I always do as I write those. And last announcement, I do have few spots opening up for my advanced one-on-one Tantra Mastery Coaching.

It's a deep dive program that helps artists, storytellers, and curious seekers to find their highest potential. I become your mentor, teacher, coach, guide as we dive deep into this work. If you feel ready, excited, and willing to go into one of the most powerful transformations in your life, reach out. Write an email to info@leelagurukul.com with the subject 'Coaching,' or drop a DMM on my page, CB Meditates, and we'll take it forward from there.

You will not find much online information on my websites for this program because in all these years I've always invited students to be part of this coaching program and have never made a sales page, landing page, funnels for this. I do want to keep it that way. So this is why I only announce it among the spaces where I know the listeners who are listening or the readers who are reading stuff on Instagram, they are part of the tribe.

I know them, they know me, and it would be an honor and a delight to go on that journey with you. And now let's get into the episode. Why am I making this shift of connecting tantra with art? One of my most profound healing beautiful memories is of the little Chandresh, the little CB. In my family, no one is into movies. They would watch like anybody would watch here and there. Nothing on the level that I would do intensely, deeply.

Sometimes I finish one movie in few weeks because I would watch for a few minutes and then stop where I feel really connected and then move on to the next week or next day and so on. Especially since Netflix, Amazon, and all those streaming platforms have happened because I can pause and I can start from wherever I've paused. I used to do something really interesting as a child.

In my lunch breaks in school, I would gather my friends and tell them, "I'm making a movie, and you could play characters that I've designed for you." So there's a villain, there's a hero. There was no heroing. I guess, as the young kids, or at least in my town, everybody was shy. We never invited an actress. We should have. So just a bunch of boys becoming villain and hero just doing things. And I was in second grade, first grade, but that was my lunch break every day.

I continued to do it for as long as I stayed in that particular school because my best friend was also in that school. After I left that school in fifth grade, I never made a movie in lunch break. So all the movies I made were before that. And I also used to write scripts or so-called scripts, and I would mail them to Bombay, the Bollywood, the Cinema hub of India. Thankfully no director reached out or made movies on those so-called scripts. It would have collapsed Bollywood, I'm sure.

And then third thing, I had this diary where I would write what movies are coming out in that particular year. And I would predict the business it would do. I would write about the quality of the storyline. Again, everything happened between first grade to fifth grade. I don't remember the age, but you can imagine, I must have been under 12, under 13. Because after fifth grade I moved to a different school and a lot of things changed for me in that school.

But this memory of me has not left me. And you must have noticed when you dream in your sleep, most of the times the dreams are of your childhood times or the childhood home or the town where you grew up, or the school memories. Maybe the awareness within us, the psyche has never left that interesting time. And I can go into many factors why I would create another fictional world in my stories or in the lunch breaks, because somewhere that gives you an escape.

Escape from all of the chaos that is happening in your life and the life around you, and you don't know how to handle it and you would choose stories. And if there is one deep longing that continues to haunt me for all these years, it's that urge, that unfulfilled urge to actually write a proper script. Not many people know, but when Break The Norms book came out, I had some of the biggest, biggest names in Hollywood.

Their agents reached out and they said, "We want to make a movie based on this concept of Break The Norms." I was new in LA, I didn't know how the Hollywood works and how chaotic, and dark and unstructured that gets. So those ideas never materialized. But I loved connecting to the people who I've always admired. And I feel those incidents are not accidents when you are being invited or called or somebody knocks your door about the story, the art.

And I've always questioned why I was so much into art always. It could be writing music. I even took Indian classical music lessons as a teenager in New York. My take is every artist is an healer. They're healers in disguise. And the more I have seeked healing or unknown or divinity, the more I have felt connected to the art within me and around me. But I never called myself an artist until some people started pointing out, "Oh, the way you say this, that that's an artist. The way you write that, that's a storyteller."

And I guess, that started to open up that little CB who used to make movies in lunch breaks. And then I realized more than 95% of my clients are artists and storytellers for all these years. And I never consciously paid attention that they could be from any country, but they are artists within. And the beautiful thing is they are not formal or conventional artists and storyteller all the time, but they are creating art.

And the more they claim that courage, the more they claim that truth, the more healing, the more expansion happens within them. Tantra and art, they have been buddies for a long time. And I remember I mentioned this to you guys in one of the previous episode or recent episodes that I truly believe it was a bunch of seekers who were artists. They created tantra. Even the way Shiva created the most profound scriptures of tantra, that was all rooted in storytelling.

Shiva's partner had questions and Shiva asked her to sit with him on his lap. And it was a conversation between two lovers, two seekers, a nonsexual, non-lustful and deeply sacred, profound poetic conversation between those two. That conversation is still the foundation of Leela Gurukul and everything I share with you. There is a deep connection between tantra and art. They both honor sensuality.

They both require that mindfulness, that zen presence. They both help you transcend the mind. They both honor the senses, the sensuality. They both help you to create something that didn't exist before. And for me, that is art. You must have noticed, especially if you have been listening to me for a long time, that I connect tantra with transmutation, which means channeling or converting an energy into its higher form.

One example is transmuting anger into compassion, lust into love, love into divinity, greed into some form of creativity. One of my core work with my clients is to help them transmute with what they have, with what they are. Because tantra says, "Come as you are. We'll help you transmute all of this." And the definition of art for me is not different at all. For me, art also helps you to transmute your anger, greed, ego desires into something higher, into something that is eternal.

Art helps you to transmute chaos into order, helps you to transmute the darkness into light, helps you to transmute the inner suffering into healing. The tragedy is capitalism. The social media noise. While it has given birth to many artists, it has killed more artists than giving birth. The challenge is the moment you give yourself a label, you limit yourself.

And the modern noise, be it of capitalism, be it of social media, it knows how to twist labels and make it so restrictive to so many artists who were creating fascinating stuff. They stop calling themselves an artist because they compare themselves with what the society calls an artist and they feel they are not an artist. For me, the most profound breakthrough happened in my spiritual journey when I came across this teaching in tantra that this creation is the creator.

There's no separate God anywhere else. This creation itself is God. This creation itself is divine. What does it mean? It means the leaves you touch, the flowers you smell, the sky, the rivers, the lake, the ocean, the mountains, they all are part of that divine consciousness. They are the divine consciousness. This is why I relate goddess Kali to that Kali consciousness. And I relate Kali consciousness to that infinite open sky, which looks blue and black mixed with so many fascinating things happening within that.

Everyone is a creator. You are a creator. The moment you show up for that creation, you give birth, you start to heal that artist within you. You may hesitate to call yourself an artist, but if you are creating something that didn't exist few minutes before, my friend, you are an artist. It could be gardening, cooking, creating something on your social media apps. It could be something so subtle, so simple.

The pain point here is when you create something that didn't exist before and you can create that even in your sleep, you take it for granted because the society has taught us if it's something great, it has to be complex, it has to be tough, it has to be rough. This is why if someone is offering a simple, easy meditation practice and 10 minutes of it can make you enlightened, I think they'll die hungry because no one will come there to be on their retreat, to be part of their program because they're making it so simple.

People love complexity. Our minds love complexity. It has taken me so long to convey, to convince seekers that simplicity is spirituality, spirituality is simplicity. If it's not coming across as simple, let go of it. Pick something else. Because if it is spiritual, it has to be simple. Do not make it complicated. Your art has to be effortless. It's effortless to you.

And I refrain from doing things that are not uncomfortable, but the ones that my mind wants to do to join the trend. Because for me, that's a fine line between creating something versus manufacturing it. So if I'm writing the newsletters, recording these podcasts or writing on the threads or creating on Instagram, that is effortless for me. If I'm doing Tantra Mastery work, that is effortless for me. I could be exhausted and tired as a human, my body would need rest, but it's not bringing anger, anxiety, comparison, aggression in me.

But if I start to do or create something that's bringing anger, competition, comparison, anxiety, I may not want to be part of it. I don't work with the clients. They are giving me money, but I don't work with the clients if I start to experience that anger, aggression, anxiety, because I want to create something with them that didn't exist in their life before. And I feel we can only create that when both of us are in that effortlessness. And my job is to spot that effortless element in them.

What comes effortlessly to their expression? What is it that's so joyful and easy for them, but may not be so joyful and easy to others? Moving on, I want to speak to the artist in you. So whether you are creating beautiful art in the conventional formal sense, or if it's still a longing within, I want to share a few tantric aspects of what will bloom the artist in you, what will make you that creative, curious, tantric artist.

For me, sensitivity is a big one. To be sensitive is to receive information beyond your thoughts. What does it mean? Our society doesn't honor sensitivity, right? I have been told, and I know students who have been told, "You are too sensitive. Work on it, change it." I remember sitting with a very successful astrologer in India and he was reading my chart. So by the way, fun fact, he was a doctor, but he was also astrologer.

So he would give you medication based on your astrology plus the medicine knowledge that he had. Very interesting personality, and I always loved chatting with him. And he said, "One of your flaws is your sensitivity. You've got to work on it." I didn't understood what he meant because I was in high school back then and now I understand what he meant. So much of my hurt has come from that vulnerability, that sensitivity, and I would shrink into my cave and I would only come out once that hurt is feeling a little safer.

This is why I don't find myself in social gatherings, too much energy, too many people, too many humans. It doesn't work well with my sensitivity. I don't get angry often, but when I see an authority trying to suppress a woman, a child, especially a woman of feminine energy, I still don't know or maybe I know parts of it, but it does triggers me to extent I can't explain, not yet at least. That is a sensitive part of me.

And it didn't go well until I suppressed it, until I didn't like it. But that changed my life when I started to respect my sensitivity. And I started to work on not feeling overly sensitive with things that mind identifies, with not taking everything personally. So mind will glorify and take everything so personally, but the awareness understands there's a grand scheme of universe happening. And we don't need to always be serious, always take things so, so deeply.

Sometimes it works for me, sometimes it doesn't. But that's a part of my journey that I'm constantly understanding, healing, because I do want to maintain my sensitivity alive and keep channeling it to create what I do for you, what I do for my higher self. The next one I see here is embracing the unknown. One of my favorite quotes, which I share very often, "Something unknown is doing, and we don't know what."

For me, the true creativity really happens when you are trusting the unknown. The mind, of course, loves the known, the mind wants familiar. And anytime you seek unknown, you embrace unknown, society, family, they don't like you, they don't validate you, they don't accept you. And that pushes the mind to stick to the known, to stick to the familiar. This is why we keep seeing less of an original work on social media, in the movies, in music, and people are constantly replicating what sells, what works.

Even on super small scales you will notice when you write something that you don't usually write and share it, when you create an art that you usually do not create and share it, people do not give you the applause. And it's a human thing. It's a human thing to want the applause, to want to be loved, seen, heard, and that's great. But a true artist loves living on the edge, they love trusting the unknown and keep channeling it.

And you don't have to make the jump instantly impulsively, but rather play with a little known and a little unknown. Maybe 60% could be known and 40% could be unknown, especially when you create stuff. The most underrated and powerful fuel for you to trust the unknown and lead with that courage is your sadhana, your meditation. Meditation helps you to transcend the mind, and the mind loves past, future projections.

Without trying too hard, as you meditate, remind yourself, "I'm here to harness my energy into my creative expression. I invite courage, calmness, clarity, to create my art through my highest expression, through my highest self." Embracing unknown, being sensitive, they are tough things and they need something way bigger, way larger than you and I, than your physical existence. And meditation gives you that power. There is a mantra I want to share here.

Aham Brahmasmi, which means I am an extension of the universe, and the universe is an extension of me. The way I see it, this mantra is a reminder that you may use number of instruments to create your art from your laptop, to brush, to notebook, to pen, to your hands. I mean, many instruments, but the ultimate instrument is you, your awareness, your heart. And you are an extension of the universe. So when you trust and respect yourself as that divine instrument, the universe will show up to work with you.

The universe will channel its highest raw expression through you, but my friend, you have to feel worthy of it. If you don't feel worthy, then all of this is nothing but a wishful thinking. You must have seen sometimes you compliment someone, and if they have never been complimented for that, they find you creepy. They think something is wrong with you. And sometimes you are that person, right? When they compliment you and you haven't been complimented in that pure level, you feel something isn't right here.

Many artists go through that. They have been constantly told by family, by society, "This is not a profession. This is not what you're supposed to do." So you keep hiding your identity and maybe open an account on Etsy or sell that art for 20 bucks, $50, $100. And then one day someone shows up and they say, "I'll pay $10,000 for this." And you don't believe them because you don't see your own art beyond $50.

Why would someone pay 10,000? But that's a sign from universe to one more time remind you of your value, of your worth. You may continue to see yourself through your family, through the people you grew up with. But an artist is Khanabadosh, the one who keeps their home on their shoulder. They don't get stuck in the golden cages. They don't get stuck anywhere. They transmute. They channel chaos to order, pain into a melody, suffering into a poetry.

And by simply being what they are, they heal the world. And the last thing I'll say here is start seeing yourself as an artist. Start calling yourself an artist or storyteller, whatever works for you. Our identities, and the way we claim them, that starts to teach our mind, body, and awareness to show up in a certain way, to show up in a powerful way. And I do recommend you start to play with a new role, a new identity. The one where your 2.0 version is leading the show. When you meditate, bring your energy on the heart center.

Invite goddess Saraswati. Her images are all over online. Goddess Saraswati is the name. Invite her on the heart center and invite her to cultivate that courage, clarity, and invite her to help you build trust for your success and blooming as an artist in whatever that art could mean to you. Anything at all. Before I end here, I would be so curious to know what feelings, thoughts, emotions this episode invoked in you. If you could even drop a line on info@leelagurukul.com or drop a message on Instagram, I would love to hear from you.

It's something I want to keep building for you. And hearing from you gives me the most courage. Keep creating, keep seeking, keep exploring, and keep unleashing the artist within you. Aham Brahmasmi. May the teachings of tantra continue to guide you and heal you. And I hope Leela Gurukul helps you to unlearn the old and embrace the unknown mystical possibility unfolding for you. To support this podcast, share it among the seekers who are ready for the next step in their spiritual path.

Useful Links

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Visit cbmeditates.com to send your questions and to know more about Chandresh's work.