Episode Transcript

Chandresh Bhardwaj: On the path of life, you are not moving from imperfection to perfection. But you're moving from perfection to perfection. You're amazing as you are. You are beautiful as you are. You are not required to be a muse. You don't have to be the hero or the warrior or even the spiritual seeker. Tantra invites you to celebrate your expression. Own it. Embrace it. This self-expression is your conscious, aware, creative self-expression.

In this episode, we are going to dive into the basics, the highest, the lowest, the depth of your self-expression. If there is an episode that I want you to listen from first minute till the end, it would be this one. If there is an episode that I'll be re-listening, it would be this one.

This is my love letter, my request, my note, my poetry to all of you envoke, enhance, cultivate, deepen your self-expression. Because if you have it, you have everything. And if you're not in touch with it, you're missing out on everything in your life.

I'm Chandresh Bhardwaj and this is Leela Gurukul. Namaste everyone. I hope you're feeling easy, safe and grounded wherever you are. Before we dive deeper into one of the most essential episodes in the Leela podcast, I want to share two amazing, incredible announcements.

Number one, the Conscious Meditation Program is now live. This is our signature 12-week meditation program based on the depths of tantra, divine feminine mantra, self-healing and all things that you can expect from our Leela program will begin in the month of June and will keep on going for 12 weeks. There are different layers of deep dive access and signature access to the program so that it's accessible to everyone. Fill out the application, sign up, and if you have any questions, reach out to us at info@leelagurukul.com.

And secondly, I'm going to open the spots for my one-on-one deep dive program called Advanced Tantra Mastery. If you are interested, willing and curious to dive into one of the most deep dive one-on-one coaching experiences with me through the tantra lens, email at info@leelagurukul.com and we'll start to chat. Mention in the subject, Advanced Tantra, so we'll know that's why you are reaching out. And remember, this is a deep dive, high investment, high commitment, high promise, high results program so if you're really feeling ready and committed, definitely reach out. And our first introduction call is complimentary. No charge, of course. I want to know you better, I want you to know me better in that one-on-one space before we make any commitment to go into that level of tantra work.

Now let's get into this episode. Take a deep breath and reflect what could be emotional suppression. And as you start to meditate on it, you might come across thoughts, feelings, stories where your emotions were suppressed, your emotions were directed by other authorities around you. They were directed to show up in a particular way, their way, not your way.

When you are born, you're born as a pure consciousness. You are a seed, and the seed has a potential to become anything. It can grow, rise, expand. No two seeds are similar. But when you are born as a human being, the family, parents, society, religion, school, they all want you to fit into a box of all seeds because they want you to be in their lens of safety, security. And softly, forcefully, consciously, unconsciously, they start to direct your emotions, which becomes suppression. It starts with gentle nudging, then fearful narratives step in, then they push you, expect you to handle your emotions in a way that fits to their narrative, that fits to their culture, their journey, their background. But you as a little kid, as that pure consciousness, you find it unnatural, although you don't know the signs of it yet, but you find it so unnatural to suppress what feels so easy to express. It could be anger, could be sexual energy, could be sadness. You find it a bit uncomfortable to not express it, to not experience it, but everyone around you is expecting you to suppress it or to live it the way they want you to live with it.

Guess what you start to do? You start to distract yourself, and that distraction varies from person to person. That distraction could be mindless, meaningless friendships, relationships, it could be substance abuse, could be porn addiction, could be sleeping too late at nights, wondering, dreaming, over-analyzing life. It could be just eating up your anger because you're clearly told being angry is not good. "This is not what good kids do."

This kind of emotional suppression could have harmful, damaging lifelong impact on your emotional fulfillment, your sexual energy, your financial growth. It impacts every area of life, including your physical health. I'm not a doctor, but I have come across plenty of studies and data where you'll be scared, shocked, and deeply disturbed to see that wherever the self-expression of humans was controlled, that's where maximum number of diseases and deaths took place. When I started reading that data, I was disturbed for days because it reminded me of so many people. It reminded me of my own old self and even the current self where I have to make an effort to open up with my self-expression.

That self-expression, when it is suppressed, it doesn't vanish anywhere. It's still within you. You are still feeling it in some way, but you're trying to numb it down. And guess what? It hides itself somewhere in your body, but it's wounded now. It's stuck now. It's like that stagnant water and it's going to attract mosquitoes. So eventually it will start to arise. It would want to manifest in some way or the other. And that manifestation is what we usually know as diabetes, cancer, mental disorders, psychological disorders, sleeping disorders, schizophrenia, and so many other labels and names. But they all start from suppressing, controlling, not able to understand your self-expression.

I want to bring one person here in this audio, in this episode. I've known this person for many years. She has two daughters. I can't say the name, and you'll know why, because this experience, this story is very sensitive. And throughout this episode, I want you to breathe deeply, drink water, listen to this episode in the nature out there if you can, because I want you to feel inspired and empowered and not scared, not disturbed. So continue to take that deep breath and place your hand on the heart because we all live in times where our self-expression is systematically controlled.

So anyway, going back to this woman, she grew up in a very strict household where the parents, especially the father, he had given her very clear guidelines on how to live, what it means to be a good, obedient daughter. The mother was, as it is suppressed and numb so she didn't even have much to talk about or say, and she was the eldest one so she didn't have any other benchmarks around her so she simply followed whatever the protocol was in the house. She grew up to be a very suppressed, quiet, introvert human. I'm an introvert, so I'm not saying being introvert or even being suppressive is a negative thing. It's a diagnosis, right? Everything is information. We are not labeling things into right, wrong, good, bad.

So she grew up to be that suppressive, controlled woman. But her mother said, "Your father is like that, and you know him. He's always like this. But after you get married, you'll get to wear the kind of clothes you want to wear. You could be the artist you want to be. You could be anything you want to be after you get married because your father is just... He's a bit controlling man, and that's okay. That's how fathers are. So wait till you get married." The mother gave her all the perfect fantasy dreams about marriage, so she got married at a very young age. The husband not only turned out to be a replica of her father, but 10 times more abusive, controlling, and toxic. I know the family so I've seen and heard crazy things. And of course she could not find any liberation after marriage. Instead, she got into anxiety medication and all other sort of medications. And then one day she was pregnant and she gave birth to her first daughter.

Now, the first daughter turned out to be a replica of her, quiet, fearful, suppressed, not able to express things, always feeling nervous socially. And somewhere during this time, the husband and wife, they got into meditation, they got into the company of the right spiritual teacher, and they both felt good about it and they both started to meditate. And the guru, the teacher was smart enough to not hit the ego, but to first stop the bleeding, which means he understood there are abusive, controlling, angry tendencies in that family so he had to first get rid of that. So he worked on it. And when the change started happening, the mother, the wife, the woman I'm talking about, she started to feel, she started to experience a bit more playfulness. A bit more, not too much, just a bit more joy and happiness.

And then she got pregnant again in three or four years later and this time she gave birth to another girl, but this girl turned out to be totally opposite of the mother. She was, she is still so playful, so talkative. In fact, whenever we go... We have gone out with them for any social gathering, that little girl would want to talk to everyone and we had just sort of relax her that that they are strangers so you don't have to share all of your life story with them. But what can you teach a five-year-old? So it was always a delight to watch how the younger daughter was so much more relaxed and happy.

So by that time, I was also close to the family so I told her, this mother, the mother of two children now, I said, "These two children, they are information for you. They're telling you they're mirrors of your life stages. When you were in a particular stage in the first pregnancy, this is how your child turned out to be. And in the second one, this is how she turned out to be," and she got scared. She said, "So does that mean my elder daughter would always be like this?" And I said, "No. They both are at a very sensitive, interesting phase in their life so they have complete freedom. You have complete freedom and choice to turn their story. But here's the plot twist, you cannot tell them what to do, but you have to lead with example. The more you liberate yourself, the more your daughters will liberate themselves. And you don't need to do some revolutionary work. Even your daily attempts to be more of who you are, that will change everything because the universe will support you and your kids with that right energy."

And I'm happy to report those two daughters, those two girls turned out to be absolutely smart, fantastic, amazing, amazing humans. And this woman we are talking about, as long as she continued to do the work, she did great. Whenever she relapsed, she would feel those challenges. But that's just how the life energy works. It requires us to show up with a certain commitment, a certain promise, a certain devotion. It's not that easy. It's not that chill. But the more effort you make to make it effortless, the more it works for you. I hope that makes sense.

Now, what are the signs or the symptoms that you might be going through the emotional suppression? There are so many, countless, but I'm going to share some specific ones so that you can reflect, slow down and understand where you could change your story.

So number one, struggle with conscious abundance. This is not the struggle for wealth, it's the struggle for abundance, and there's a difference between these two. Wealth creation is simply making money, buying assets and piling it up. It's simply wealth or money or assets. It may or may not be giving you joy, freedom. It may or may not be giving you the contentment you are hoping to experience with abundance. So the lack of conscious abundance, which means the wholesome experience of life is missing. You might be doing good in your job, you might be doing all right with your money-making skills, but the joy is missing, the fulfillment is missing.

Number two, creative struggles get at their peak. You continue to self-sabotage and overthink your decisions because guess what? When your most basic emotions, fundamental emotions are suppressed, you can't expect to lead with confidence, lead with creativity because whenever you tried that as a child, everybody around you made it very clear that this is not how you show up, this is not how you operate. So they all gave their 2 cents and as a result, whenever you try to unleash your creativity, you doubt your decisions, you doubt your confidence and your self-worthiness, it continues to be damaged. It continues to go through experiences and fluctuations that just makes you more frustrated.

Number three, the emotional intimacy is missing. Intimacy is missing at its core, and of course the emotional intimacy is the most beautiful and the first experience of intimacy we all deserve to experience. It gives you a lot of challenge to be vulnerable, to trust someone else's vulnerability. This leads to distance in relationships, lack of fulfillment, emotional, spiritual, sexual in all the areas of life. Your inability to make a deep authentic connection with others, it just continues to suffer. And one of my pain point with this emotional suppression is it ruins the storytellers and artists.

I was out a few hours ago. I was getting my 3:00 PM coffee, which sometimes I need to get, it's just a habit. I don't know if it does anything. So yeah, one of those 3:00 PM coffee trips happened and I was listening to an interview of this artist who said, this is Indian artist, his biography came out, and he's a writer, director. And he said, "After a certain point, I started calling my father, sir. I never called him papa or dad." I didn't know this about him. So those who are from India, the name is Piyush Mishra. Piyush Mishra said, "He was my hero. My father was my hero. I always felt he was the most handsome, intelligent, smart human until I realized that he is giving me love, validation, acceptance as long as I'm obeying him, as long as I'm the obedient son." And in Asian cultures, being an obedient son or a daughter, is everything. If you're not obedient, you could be doing 50 other greatest things, but guess what? You'll never be accepted. You'll never be loved. And he said, "When I continued to feel that force, that pressure, I just didn't know what to call my father anymore. And I don't know when I started calling him sir, because the relationship became of this formal relationship."

Now this artist I'm talking about, he is one of the most rebellious artists from the Indian cinema theater art so I can expect Piyush Mishra to just completely change the relationship dynamic because he understood that the artist in him will die if he doesn't take some drastic tough and rough actions. And he wasn't sharing this with pride or joy. He said it very clearly that, "I do not want anyone to go through what I went through in my childhood," so I could feel his pain. But the point is he was lucky enough to understood and he got out. He took decisions and actions and made choices that were brutally uncomfortable, but it honored the artist, the storyteller in him.

This is my request to all the storytellers and artists, no matter what happens, no matter what you have to sacrifice, keep the storyteller in you fully alive. Storytellers in us, they don't need much. All they need is enough food, enough love to express who we are to express our stories. You may need name fame, fancy big assets, but the storyteller in you doesn't need any of that. It only cares for how much love, unconditional acceptance it's getting from you. So this is one big thing and I feel very strongly about it so that's why I had to speak a bit extra about it.

Next one is next symptom, sign that is pointing out your emotional suppression is your constant suffocation with freedom when you feel there is lack of freedom. It could be in simple things, it could be in big things, but that lack of freedom continues to show up. Maybe you are compromising 50 little things or one big thing, but it is pointing out that suppression. Suppression, the way I understand is when something is pressed, it wants to expand, it wants to fly, but something is pressing it. So suppression, I don't know if it's stupid enology or a good one or a decent one, but that's how I always understood when something is controlled, pressed, forced, it leads to some suppression. And I'm a big, big fan of freedom. If you don't have freedom in what you do, how you show up, you got to take all the actions you can take to fix it.

And next, the last sign, the symptom I want you to understood is in the volatile triggers in your sexual energy, in your anger, in your mood swings. Because if your mood, your emotion was always given a gentle outlet, a smooth outlet, you will rarely have the mood fluctuation. If your sexual energy was treated with safety, love and respect, it'll rarely have that fluctuation, that addiction challenge. If your anger was seen with some sort of reverence or some sort of even acknowledgement, if you had acknowledgement or reverence for your anger, it wouldn't be going through that emotional volatile experience. And if it's happening, we have some work to do and it's fine. We all have some work to do anyway. If you are a human, it's very much possible all of these points spoke to you in some way so that it's not something to be scared of, but it's beautiful to acknowledge, to understand, to pause for a moment and reflect that, "All right, I have these things and probably many other things that I didn't say, but that's all right." That's where we'll begin the work.

Now, next thing for us to understand is the why of this emotional suppression. How does it begin? From where does it begin? You can think, overthink, overanalyze with your therapist or within your own mind, but some of the most common origins, sources of emotional suppression continues to be in the family. And through the family, religion, society, the culture you belong to, they all show up.

I was reading the book Conversations with God, Volume 3 I think, and somewhere in the first few pages, the first few chapters, it mentions that adults, they're not qualified or equipped to raise children consciously, but they give birth so impulsively, so emotionally that they forget there is a minimum of 20-year responsibility. I of course, relate to it. I've spoken about it in the Conscious pregnancy episode. And that doesn't mean you should not have children if you are in your 20s or 30s, but it means not escaping the responsibility and working with the support system that can give your children that right exposure, that right awareness. And if you already have children, forget about the past, but start to work somewhere in this present moment and lead with example. When you work on yourself, they'll follow. Because one of the top reasons why your emotional suppression has only multiplied is because the family could not, did not acknowledge what was wrong. But if you're listening to this episode, you clearly belong to that tribe who's working and who's devotedly working within and around to change their story. So you are in safe space. You're doing good. So don't judge yourself in this. But continue to do that fun work that shows up in this dynamic.

Next one, next why of emotional suppression comes from the social expectations. There are social expectations that are thrown on us, and they are about who you are as a person. No two children are the same. But when we are in school or in society and we are little kids, we are expected to behave through a certain template. These social expectations are about everything, the way you dress up, the way you express your vulnerability, the way you express your sexuality, the way you express your entire energy.

A few days ago, one of my school buddies reached out, and she's in a very glamorous industry right now and on a very big position, she works with all the fashion elements and photographing stuff, and she appears to be a very feminine, sensual being. I've known her since my entire school days actually and we haven't been in touch. We have been very much on and off in touch with each other. And she said, "I listened to the podcast and I love what you're doing now, because the Chandresh I knew in school, he wasn't talking about tantra." And I told her I was hiding books of tantra, "So none of you knew, which means I did a good job of hiding."

So anyway, she said, "I need your help," and I said, "Sure, tell me." And her question was, "I have forgotten how to be essential feminine being, and you talk a lot about it, what can I do?" And her question surprised me because that is the only element that one could associate with her. And I said, "You work with such sensitive, beautiful things, the color, the fabric, the sensitivity of the woman, you work with everything, and why do you think you have forgotten how to be sensual?" She said, "Because that's my profession now. It's a cutthroat industry and it's a dark industry, and I'm expected to show up in a certain way, and that's what you see and everybody sees. But deep inside, everything has become a mask, and I don't know what I'm doing with it. And I'm feeling as if I'll explode with something one day within."

So I had to go through a very deep chat with her and just bring her out of that pain, but it's going to be an ongoing work with her. But my friend, this is exactly what social expectations do with us. When we were in school, she was known to be one of those very expressive, playful, sensual girls and of course, all the boys wanted her attention. And she said, "I liked it, but the teachers didn't like it. I was judged by so many, the other girlfriends, the boys, the school teachers, so I constantly was in conflict with it. So at this point, my sexuality, my sensuality is so, so butchered because I don't know, how do I show up elegantly now? Because what felt so natural at one age, it doesn't feel natural." So that broke my heart because that's not one would expect someone who was always so happy, so joyful, so expressive, and she's struggling with her expression. Her conclusion was that she just continued to suppress who she was only because she wanted to fit in.

When we honor the social norms, we do it so that we can avoid an explosive, unwanted energy. We want to avoid that because if we don't avoid it, we are going to mess up with the system. It's not socially acceptable. So we replace that uncomfortable feeling with a more acceptable feeling, and we are influenced by everyone around us. And all of us suffer through it. All of us. So understand the social expectations, they mess up a lot of things within us.

Next one is your anger, your sexual expression. I sort of covered, I mean similar points are going to show up, and that's the good news because there are not 50 points you need to understand. There are only handful of points, and they all are connected with each other.

So when you are little, you get angry, but you are not allowed to be angry, and I always think of anger of a little child. That anger is so beautiful. You could make a video of it and the reel will go viral, and we have seen that many times. One of the most viral clip "Charlie, bit my finger," it's an expression of just doing what you want to do, and that's what we are supposed to show up as humans.

I see my ducks every day. You know what they do when they are in some mood? They'll hit each other, they'll jump on each other, and I used to get concerned. So I would go out, I'm like, "Are they going to hurt each other? Are they angry? What's going on?" And by the time I go out, they are fine. They are again jumping, relaxing, going into the water. So I clearly got very confused and I spoke to a farm guy nearby. And by the way, at this point I have made many new friends who just have ducks. My social life is mainly about knowing more about ducks at this point. And I spoke to him and he said, so this dude, he's 82 or something, he said, "You don't understand one thing about ducks, when they're angry they're angry only for that moment. So when your duck is hitting another duck, she's angry so you're not hallucinating. You're not misjudging it. They're clearly angry. But by the time you get out, they're not angry anymore. They have released that anger. So when they experience anger, it's in that moment. And the moment you go out, they have already released it."

That obviously felt like the most enlightening thing because as a Leo, I clearly believed that I'll take my anger to my grave. I'll never be able to let go of it. But thankfully, it's one aspect of my life that I've constantly consciously worked on. I bet there is so much more to work on, but I'm so glad I'm not as angry as I used to be, and I'm not angry for the reasons that used to make me angry before. But yeah, let's give a big shout-out to all the ducks in the world who could be angry in the moment and they can let go of that anger.

So as humans, what can you do? Live that anger. You don't have to be sophisticated or civilized with that anger, which means that anger could come out in a more conscious way,. I'll come to it in the last part of this podcast but for now, understand anger is not a problem. Your sexual expression is not a problem. We just have to learn how to handle it.

Another why, the source of our emotional suppression is how your vulnerability was misjudged, the way your vulnerability invited some hurt, some pain from others, and then you stopped being vulnerable. Vulnerability didn't get you into problem. It was lack of understanding from the people who saw you in that vulnerability that got you the pain, that attracted the pain. Because when we don't know that emotion, so when somebody else portrays that emotion in front of us, we don't know what to do. So depending on our level of awareness, we'll either accept, embrace, reject, or attack that whole energy. But simply because you got hurt in the past from being vulnerable, that does not mean you got to stop being vulnerable. You have to continue the journey of vulnerability because that's where your healing, your transformation exists.

Society will shame you or others for expressing who they are, but that's the problem of society. That will always be the essence of society. This is why I don't get along with 99.9% of things that society creates. It could be the institutions it creates. It could be the social validation, rewards, awards, acknowledgement. The moment you start to put the society on pedestal, the norms on pedestal, you are becoming a puppet to what they want you to do because then exactly that's what you will do. You will continue to do the people pleasing. You'll continue to put narratives on pedestal that don't deserve any place in your life.

Our parents, because they're under the pressure of society, they raise us to not express our so-called negative emotions. And if you do, you are punished for it. This all comes from some sort of living with the society norms. This is why my first book was about breaking the norms. Because if you choose to honor the norms, if you choose to follow the norms, then you are giving a systematic death to your expression. And the death could be so systematic you will never know it's dead because you have accepted the cage to be your home.

And now we come to the last phase of this episode, what do we do about this emotional suppression? One thing that I've started to share with my students, with students in Leela Gurukul, my one-on-one students, is the concept of conscious self-expression. It's the greatest and the most beautiful thing you can do with yourself.

What exactly is conscious self-expression? It simply means your expression but that's aware, conscious. Because violence could be self-expression for many, but violence doesn't solve things. Violence doesn't resolve anything. But if that person was to channel this violence into a conscious self-expression, it may take form of a sacred revolution. It may take form of an art, a book, a poetry or a nonprofit or some sort of work that will fix the problem that they were angry about. It'll fix that entire drama that triggered the thing to begin with.

So everything we are discussing in this entire episode has to do with your conscious self-expression. For me, the conscious self-expression is simply an invitation to respect and honor who you are. You could be spiritual, non-spiritual, vegan, not vegan, but none of you should be influenced under some pressure. None of you, none of your element, your parts should be influenced or dominated under some sort of fear, impulsiveness, anxiety. Your self-expression is your most unfiltered, raw, real, and above all, mindful, aware expression.

How do we cultivate the conscious self-expression? It would be a good start to meditate every day. That's a no-brainer. But how do you meditate? Meditation with simply breathing work, it's a good relaxation, and that's a great, great start. As you start to feel more comfortable with your relaxation, you got to go deeper into specific energy centers, which you also call chakras, so you touch certain chakras. And I do recommend you take proper guidance to do that. If it's first time you're doing it, a gentle, consistent breathing meditation is great. If you wish to go advance, but you can't get into training coaching at this point, take help of the YouTube meditations or the meditations on Leela podcasts, but pick on Leela podcast everything I share publicly. That's very safe to practice. I can't say the same for YouTube meditations, but trust your judgment. If that meditation really scatters your emotions, really scatters and butchers, or starts to do that, stop right there. Because the right meditation could be uncomfortable, but it has to be the relevant one. But begin with meditation, minimum once a day, twice a day would be amazing. And just to be in that safe zone, practice for 20 to 30 minutes, focused on the heart center, using any mantra that your teacher has given you. If you don't have one [foreign language 00:44:25] could be a fine mantra.

Number two, get out of the environment where you're not feeling loved, accepted, seen, or heard. Think of yourself as a seed. If the seed is not growing, maybe the soil is not fertile, maybe it's planted in the wrong place. And many times we don't have to cut the roots, but we could simply shift the roots from one place to another. Yeah, I mean, it is kind of cutting the roots. I think we would call it uprooting, if I'm using the right label. So yeah, my point was you don't have to burn the roots, but relocating it.

So I hear this from many people who talk about abusive family, abusive partner, toxic people around in the family, and they have been with them for many, many years and they're not teenagers, all of them are working professionals, and when I start asking them, why are you still there? They either get upset, they don't talk, they leave the chat, and that's the kind of conversation we need to have. When I work with students, of course, the one who choose to work, they're willing to take that action, and I'm requesting you to take that action. Those who are not part of any cohort, those who are not in any circle, in any meditation healing circle, get out of the environment that's causing you to feel suppressed, that's limiting your playfulness. Do what it takes to get out of there.

Number three, transcend identity. Transcending identity is one of the most essential, fascinating work you could do. Transcending identity is the core work of the Conscious Meditation program. What do we do in it? We transcend your identity. We work on it. So if your name is Denise, Denise is one of my great good close friends, but also one of the most consistent listeners of the Leela Gurukul so I'm using her name. If Denise has to transcend her identity, it would be Denise 2.0. I use the label 2.0 because most people sort of connect with it. They understand what 2.0 could feel like. So instantly the mind starts to work 2.0 will be more playful, happier, successful, and so on. Transcending identities of work, of meditation, intention, action, getting out of the environment, and many other things that is just so unique to you, but you could do it anytime, anywhere. You could kickstart it by simply defining what would 2.0 version of you would feel like, what feelings she would experience, and based on that, you start to work. If that 2.0 version of you would live with a feeling of joy, bliss, happiness, abundance, then think of the barriers, think of the solutions, think of little tiny micro actions you can take to cultivate toward that identity. If you do it with devotion, sincerity, universe will reward you. Universe will give you what you need to do in that moment.

Do not underestimate your strength when you show up for a spiritual work. It's really your strength, your self-belief, your self-trust that changes the entire story. You do need the discipline, but other than that, there are known and unknown forces ready to support you, guide you.

Next point is my favorite, join acting school. I haven't joined one. I would love to join one, I think. But if you can't or won't join acting school, then join a social club or some sort of experience where your art could find an outlet. The reason I mentioned acting school, because the right acting school will help you unleash the inner you. It'll help you understand how to play the various roles. It'll help you understand how you could be playing a role but not becoming one. And if not an acting school, then maybe an art class or a series of art classes, writing groups, writing clubs, anything where some creativity is happening, where you are creating something that didn't exist before. So acting, writing, painting, creating music, I think you get it, but go for it. Please do that. Please join one. That's going to change your life.

And I hope when you join one, your mind doesn't tell you how it'll benefit your business. You are an accountant, how would an acting school benefit you? You are an engineer, how would writing poetry will benefit you? Not everything has to have a capitalistic tangible benefit. Many times, we got to do things simply to bring reverence to our existence. You owe that to your existence, so please, please go for it.

The fifth point here is consciously suppressing. So that's more of a yoga thing. Tantra will say indulge with awareness. Yoga will say suppress with awareness. So bring more discipline.

But here's how I see it, it means... I practice it so I'll use that example. I've always shared this with you, POP, pause, observe, proceed. What does it mean? It means when I'm angry, let's say while recording the podcast I get a text or a call or a message, email, whatever that just triggers me completely. One option is I pause the podcast, I get fully infused in taking the revenge, explaining, going back and forth with that person. But the other option is I put that on hold for a few moment. I put that on hold for sometimes 24 hours, a day or two days even. While doing it, I'm not suppressing it but I'm simply letting it find its flow. It's like you're trying to meditate and a big rat or a monkey jumps on you. But if you're me, I wouldn't make that monkey run away out of here. I would want the monkey to be there. I would actually want to know where exactly the monkey wants to go.

So keeping that in mind, I would let that emotion just sit somewhere in the room somewhere, anywhere. You can call it a temporary suppression, but I would call it just letting it be. Let it do its thing and then you can come back to it, revisit it. Revisit with a new energy, new awareness, new perspective. If you don't revisit it, that would be suppression. If you don't revisit with more clarity, that would be suppression. So I would recommend, revisit with a new awareness, revisit with a new energy, and see where it takes you.

Last point, get help. Speak with experts. It could be a spiritual teacher, professional counselor, therapist, psychologist. Many times we have gone through traumas and experiences where just reading a book or listening to a podcast will not help. In fact, it only triggers you more, it only pains you more, and you are even more confused and disappointed with things. So if you are in that space, invest in the right help. It's the least thing you can do to bring love, compassion, creativity to your existence, to your journey.

On that note, we'll end this episode. I really hope it took you somewhere and you're feeling a little more hopeful, inspired, empowered to take the right steps to honor your conscious self-expression. There's nothing bigger than that, I'll repeat it a hundred times. So do the work that it takes to cultivate it. Be safe, be well, and I'll see some of you in the Conscious Meditation program if that speaks to you. Take care. Bye-bye.

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