The Tinder Swindler - Spiritual Review
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In this episode, Chandresh shares a spiritual review of the popular Netflix Documentary The Tinder Swindler. Chandresh shares his insights on why we do certain things the way we do, and challenges caused by misalignment of the third eye including misdirected energy that can cause a lot of damage and destruction. He also explains how when we do not understand our heart and root chakras, a lot of emotional pain, stress, and suffering can be caused.
This episode is a case study of human behavior, love relationships, and how we can get into and out of trouble in these relationships. While the episode begins with a review of The Tinder Swindler, it ends with insights and advice on relationships for everyone. We hope this episode helps you reflect on your relationships and the way you show up for conflicts that occur in your relationships.
If you love this episode, please let us know on Instagram @cbmeditates.
Episode Transcript
What's the worst date you have ever been on? Did it involve political debate? Not so good food? Being ghosted in the middle of date, or some boring conversations that didn't go anywhere? Or did it involve you getting scammed out of a $1 million and drama of a lifetime? I hope that's not what happened to you, but for the women in the Tinder Swindler documentary on Netflix, the bar for bad date got a bit too crazy, a bit too scary.
This Netflix documentary tells the story of a conman, who's believed to use the Tinder dating app to showcase a life of luxury, abundance, success, happiness, while defrauding women across Europe. In today's episode of Leela Gurukul, I'll be sharing my spiritual review of this documentary. The spiritual review is all about going deeper into why we do what we do. Is there some karmic contract involved in these situations? Is there a possibility of a collective healing? And what could have been done right by the women in this documentary? Or why did the conman, Simon Leviev, did what he did? What are the spiritual reasons behind this craziness? I am Chandresh Bhardwaj and this is Leela Gurukul.
Now, before we get into the Tinder Swindler, I want to take a moment to express my gratitude for all the wonderful people who reached out, applied for the Leela's Conscious Meditation Program. The first class is happening tomorrow and I'm so joyful, so happy, so excited to get the energy going. I, of course, want to thank people who applied and who joined. But I also want to express my gratitude to the people who sent the application, who signed up for the waitlist, because it takes a lot of courage to take this step. It takes a lot of courage to show up for this possibility of healing. And when I was speaking to many of you in the last few days, I clearly saw some of you were doubting your own capability, or your own worthiness to be part of a healing process.
Some of you showed up fully ready and then started doubting if you deserve, or you'll ever be able to heal. But many of you didn't give up and you joined in. The point is, with each step, with each choice, you are contributing to your healing. So do not give up. Do not pass on any judgment toward your own choices. Show up each day in every way, with hope, with trust, with self-acceptance and the magic will happen.
And now getting into this crazy documentary, I won't go deeper into the plot of the documentary. The plot is not too complicated. This man, Shimon Hayut, or Simon Leviev, whatever his original name is or was, he used dating apps to meet multiple women to build their trust and then established lines of credit and loans in the names of these women. And these women were left with huge debts to pay back that money. That's the plot, but imagine the trauma, the fear, the lack of trust these women will have to live with for rest of the life. So let's first talk about Simon Leviev, the conman in this entire documentary.
When I was watching his actions, his behavior, the two energy centers, the two chakras stood out really strong. One was third eye. The other was the root chakra.
Now, third eye, as you already know, it's the energy center of willpower. It's the energy center of confidence. People with stronger third eye are leaders. They can convince anyone anything. You could send them to any country, any place, they'll be able to survive. They'll be able to make things happen. And now it depends on what were their growing up circumstances, education, fear, anxiety, but based on a combination of factors, they'll do the best in that situation. That's the positive side of third eye. The negative side is, if their tendencies, their attraction, goes into the wrong direction, then they'll misdirect that energy, and all that will happen is going to be self destruction, a lot of damage.
Now, what I really started seeing in Simon Leviev's behavior, he was able to convince anyone his point of view. He had a charm, a certain genius to the way he was showing up. When you look at him, he was in his complete character. He could convince you. He could manifest private jets. He could manifest money, food. He would attract women who would fall into the trap. He was a good storyteller, and that was his charming side, the happy side. But whenever he would get into the anger and aggression, then he would get violent. Verbally, he would be violent. He would threat you. He would want to control your actions. And then, you start to see the criminal tendencies in him.
This also reminds me of Walter White from Breaking Bad, the charm, the genius, the confidence, but his journey ended pretty bad, and that was a fictional show. I'll be curious to see how the journey moves for Simon Leviev. Will he ever go into a different side of his journey? Is he going to change things? We'll see. The time tells. Other side of his story was the root chakra, the lower chakras. When the lower chakras are stronger, you are creative. You have a hold on your sexual energy, creative energy, emotional energy. In this case, I kept on seeing one thing, of course, the attraction toward women, of course, that was there, but also a lot of food on the table. Whenever he would go out to eat, he would order the best side of the menu, a lot of money, lot of pleasure, the good clothes, expensive clothes, expensive food. And it hit me somewhere while watching his behavior that, okay, I think the relationship with his root chakra is pretty scattered. And I believe the relationship with his inner feminine is that doesn't exist. And the relationship with inner masculine is also very damaged.
And I bet if I would have done some more research, I would probably get to know his relationship with his father, or the story of his lineage, story of his family, the men in the family. It would be really interesting to know that. People like Simon Leviev, who get too strong on third eye, they appear strong, successful, charming, powerful, but it's all an appearance. Deep inside, they are so wounded. Deep inside, all they have is fear, anxiety, and unfortunately, plenty of psychological disorders start to build up.
As I'm saying this, I have complete empathy, compassion, because I could tell he has gone through some crazy stuff in his life, and I hope he changes the course of his actions, he reverses the damage he has done, and he goes back into some healing and he helps the people he has damaged. But that's not my job. That's not nobody's job. That's his job. He has to show up for that. He has to take the right action here. Hating him, judging him, will only make him aggressive. It will only make him more defensive, more rebellious. But hopefully, giving him some energetically safe space and reminding him that he still has huge journey ahead, and the beauty of human consciousness is you can reverse the damage you have done. There is still some damage you can heal, maybe not all of it, but a lot of it could be healed. But I hope someone will guide him to that direction, or maybe he wakes up and decides to do that.
The healing for such people, it has to happen on a root level. In my experience with students, the healing for this kind of particular case has to start even before they were born, probably from the time they were conceived or in some cases, even before they were conceived. It's not a job of few sessions, or few weeks, or a meditation program. This is work of years, a lot of commitment, a lot of help from various experts, but it has to go deep. The karmic root energy that has to be understood and healed, all this aggressive, heavy energy on the third eye has to be brought down to the root levels. And hopefully, then ultimately, the feminine and the masculine in him will be healed, the conscious creative outlets will be built and then slowly, gently the damage will start reversing. Some healing may start to happen, but it's a long, long journey. Not impossible, but it takes a lot of work.
Now, let's talk about the women in the process. I hope I'm saying their name right. Cecilie, Pernilla, Ayleen. Now, when I was going through the Twitter and just randomly reading the views of people, of course, I think there was hate anger, fun, jokes about Simon Leviev, but toward the women, maybe there was 30%, 40% compassion, sympathy. But there was a lot of judgment toward these women. And I remember there was a moment in the documentary when, I believe it was Cecilie, she said, "People have been calling us gold diggers. And the truth is if we were after money, we wouldn't have taken loans for him. The moment he started asking for money, we would have stepped back, but we were invested in loving him. We thought he's our soulmate. And that's where we lost the game. That's where we lost the entire route." And that's what I want to mention here.
As a human, of course, lust is there. You want safety. You want lust. You want love. You want warmth. You want a combination of everything. There's nothing wrong in it. You have to understand how a man and a women shows up for love or lust. For a man, all the love, lust, sensuality, unfortunately, it's mostly surrounded under the belt. That's all. So they experience sex like a sneeze. Once it's over, it's done. The more masculinity you hold within in a suppressed way, the more your sexual experiences, or love experiences, are going to be like this. You release the sneeze, you build the tension again, you release again, and it keeps repeating. That's why most men could fall in love with a women by simply looking at her face or her body, her physical features, because that's really what it takes. Not for all men, but for most men.
For a woman, it works a bit differently because her sensuality, her sexual energy is not just below the belt. It's everywhere. It's spread out in a very beautiful way everywhere and she can't help it. It's just how she's designed. This is why a woman could seduce or attract the energy by simply gazing, by simply showing up in a room. There is a lot of power in her sensuality. There is a lot of power in that divine feminine she carries, and that energy could take form of lust, seduction, but also love, surrender, trust, warmth, healing. There is so much that can happen there. So when they saw this guy, he appeared safe, strong, successful, handsome. I mean, yeah, he looked like a complete package and they started surrendering. And the way a woman surrenders, it's full surrender. It's rarely half surrender. It's full, but don't mess with a woman, because when she realizes this is not what she was hoping for and she's being played with, then you really touch her buttons wrong.
In tantra, we have this teaching that wherever a feminine is honored and loved, in those places, abundance and divinity takes birth. But the moment you ruin her heart, the moment you betray her trust, that's where the damage, the destruction starts to happen. And you'll notice in families where women are not respected, or where the women are not in touch with their feminine self, a lot of craziness happens there.
The second thing I want to mention here is I'll use an example and then explain. Imagine you are hungry for few days and all you care for, all you eat is vegan, organic, premium quality food, and you're not able to get it. So you are staying hungry because you're hoping you get the right food. But now, it's few days and few days are becoming few weeks and you are crossing a month. You are going unconscious. You are losing your strength. You are about to die and it's terrible. And then someone shows up and he says, "I don't have the vegan, organic, premium quality food that you eat, but have this frozen food. Let me warm up for one minute and I'll give you a few more packets. They won't expire for next seven years. But you're hungry for one month, so I hope you're okay in warming up this frozen food and just stay alive." My guess is you'll take the food, because the other option is you are dying. It's the self punishment you're giving because you only want the premium quality food.
This is exactly what's happening with our society right now. We live in a society where love is the biggest hunger. We are wired to understand love in a very crazy way. And when we don't get the love that we were hoping for, when we don't get that organic premium quality love, we opt for whatever love is there. The good thing is is when it comes to food, it's a different situation. Maybe there is a premium quality food 10 minutes away, and you don't know about, or maybe there isn't. But the damage that frozen food could do, it could be healed. You could bring back that damage. You could reverse it. You could heal it. But with relationships, the good thing is, if you wait, if you calm, if you shift your perspective, the premium quality of love is there. And that's the self-love, self-acceptance. I know some of you already start to feel, "Again, he's talking about self-love, self-acceptance. I don't want that. I want that from somebody else." I know you do and you will get there. You'll get that.
But first let's start from where you are, because these women were not wrong to trust him. They were hungry for companionship. They needed love. They wanted love. And he promised that. So I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about what's happening with these women, but also plenty of other men or women out there who didn't learn the lesson, who are dating the Tinder swindlers, and the damage these swindlers are doing is not so huge, or it's not so visible on the table right now that you're going back there again and again. Sometimes the damage is very little, but it adds up and one fine day, you wake up and you realize the damage that was only 1% a year ago, now it's 38%. And suddenly, you hate the idea of love, dating, marriage, and you don't want to be there. That's what I'm concerned about. The damages happen. Life doesn't move the way we were hoping for, but if you learn the lesson and not repeat it, that's where your victory is.
What I liked about these women, that they ultimately realized the strength with them. And I almost felt the devi consciousness, the divine feminine in them, it woke up and they started taking the actions. The beauty of human consciousness is the moment it decides to change the story, then you will change the story. And what's the conclusion? What have you learned from this entire craziness? Number one thing is, before you start falling in love with anyone, before you start any relationship, ask yourself, how do I relate to myself? Because if your relationship with yourself is not clear, then you are going to be very confused in building any other relationship. And by that, I mean, how do you define yourself? What's your self love language? What brings you reverence? What brings you joy? What brings you pleasure? What makes you feel empowered?
And secondly, the energy you send out is the reality you get back. And by that, I don't mean these women, or the men or women out there, they're sending out some crazy energy and they're getting back some terrible people in their life. But if I show up with sadness, if I show up every day with anger, negativity, loneliness, I may attract, or I may get attracted to somebody who may promise me the opposite of it. So again, with the example of hunger, if I'm hungry and I'm giving out this energy I'm so hungry, I can eat anything, then a homeless person could show up and they could tell me, "I have the food. Do you want to join me? But before you eat my food, let's hang out. Let's go for hiking. Let's do this and that." And after three days, they tell me, "I don't have food, by the way." And I'll be angry because they promised me food. But the truth is the homeless was also hoping that I'll have food.
So, two homeless people trying to tell fake stories to each other with hope of food. So, the energy you send out has to be understood on a deeper level. Understand what exactly you are giving out every day. Are you giving out hope? Are you giving out the energy of love, compassion, trust? What exactly is going on there? I'll probably make another podcast on just this topic, because I know it's very deep, but do pay attention to what exactly you're giving out.
And finally, this is for the parents, or even the siblings who have little brothers, sisters, but definitely for the parents who have children who are under 10, or even the teenagers. Maybe it will work out for them also. I feel, as a parent, one of the most fundamental things you could do for your children is setting a beautiful healing example of love. Let them know what a real love is like. I know maybe you don't come from a place of love in your childhood, but do not transfer that to your children, because if you teach your children by example, this is how love is, it's conditional, it's transactional, and you'll have to manipulate to get love, then that's exactly what they'll be expecting out there and anyone can fool them.
But if you set a standard of love in the family or among your children, that it doesn't matter if you do good in studies or bad, "You are still loved. We want you to be successful. But if you get bad grades, if you mess up, I'm not going to stop loving you. My love for you is not an investment. I'm not looking for any ROI, any returns on investment. I simply love you. And that's what love is." Teach them love should not be a transactional experience. Teach them, they don't have to manipulate anyone. And if anyone manipulates them for love, that's not the right person. Because if they learn how to love, how to be loved by you, trust me, then you're raising beautiful energy of love in your children. Just do that for them. I think if you have given birth to children, you owe it to them. Set the right example of love. It will heal you and it will make them stronger. That's all for today. Be safe, be well, and I'll speak to you soon.
May the teachings of tantra continue to guide you and heal you. And I hope Leela Gurukul helps you to unlearn the old and embrace the unknown mystical possibility unfolding for you. To support this podcast, share it among the seekers who are ready for the next step in their spiritual path.
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