Lessons from 2024: Navigating Self-Expression in Chaos
In this episode, I delve into three transformative lessons that 2024 has taught me. Together, we’ll explore the profound impact of consistently showing up, not just in our daily routines but in the grand scheme of our self-expression. We’ll navigate the layers of personal grief with curiosity and discuss how it can lead to a deeper healing within. Lastly, we’ll explore the yin, yang, shiva, and shakti in your journey as an artist. I hope this episode brings you the freedom and courage you seek.
Ready to transmute your creative energy and channel it into your art? Join The Mastermind, a coaching program with weekly calls to unleash your inner muse.
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Year 2024 started with one word: reinvent, reimagine. I was feeling ready and willing to reinvent my expression and help you do the same. I had made certain intentions in my heart in my meditations that moving forward, I will show up in my new way, new expression, new energy, no matter what it takes, no matter what happens. And then what do you do?
You surrender, you rest into that unknown and wait for things to happen while still showing up for an action that will support the intention. However, the action is not of primary importance as much as going inward because if you keep showing up for the action and there's no stillness, no inwardness, then the actions will lead you to the wrong directions.
But here's the beautiful thing. When you show up for the stillness, the right actions will show up, the right playground will start to form for you, and the transitions that may happen may not fit your script all the time. It may challenge your expectations, your plans, or your vision. That's where trust again shows us. You have to lead with trust in this episode.
I want to share three primary lessons that the year 2024 has already peeled off and unfolded for me. I hope each of these three lessons will help you to unleash your true self-expression and find the freedom that you're looking for in your creative and spiritual path. I am Jh Bhardwaj and this is the Leila show.
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I must, everyone. I hope you're feeling easy, cozy, and safe. I just looked at my phone on Spotify and noticed the last episode you listened to was on February 21st, titled "Take Up Space." I know many of you resonated and loved that episode. The reason I didn't record the next episode is because I was in India. Like other creators and podcasters, I could have easily recorded two or three episodes and you would have listened to them while I was away on this journey, which I'll share with you in a few minutes. But I knew I was taking this journey for a very different reason. It wasn't just a trip to another country or to my homeland. It was for a certain intention: to really say goodbye to many old layers in me and create space for the new, bold, brave self-expression part of me.
I also felt it would be unfair to record something just to fill the space and that it would be much more authentic and beautiful to come back with a different energy and share whatever highs and lows I experienced with you, hopefully empowering you to sit with your highs and lows. I could have recorded the next episode a few days ago. I was ready, and then something unexpected happened which shook me and made me go very deep into my grief and pain. That added another 7 to 10 days of not recording the episode.
So let's begin with the first lesson, the first lesson that I sat with in India. The reason I went to India was not to meet family or teach a retreat. This time, this trip was only for one reason: to attend the Jaipur Literature Festival and, of course, meditate in the goddess temples. I haven't been to India in five years and I was looking for a deeper reason to show up in India. I didn't want the reason to be teaching a retreat because that's a very professional journey. I show up, I teach for a few days, and then I run back. I wanted this trip for myself so that I could be more of myself with you.
When this opportunity showed up to attend one of the biggest and most incredible literature festivals in Asia, I couldn't resist. It was in the beautiful city of Jaipur, which is also known as the Pink City. It was a week-long festival. I had never been there before. I had a certain idea or expectation, but I was underestimating the magic of this festival. To give you a brief idea, I couldn't find the entrance because there were hundreds of people. It was like a big fat Indian wedding happening there. I couldn't find where to enter. It was so packed everywhere: school kids, college kids, the biggest writers, authors of the world, and influencers in the field of literature. It was just a one-of-a-kind place. It took us 10 minutes to keep rotating around the hotel and then eventually find our way in.
After I did, I felt like a kid in a candy store. I kept having this expression in my heart: I feel so seen. I was like, I’m not speaking on the stage. Why do I feel seen? I'm just sitting in the audience. Why do I feel seen in this grand festival? I believe the reason I felt so seen was because I was sitting among my tribe—the authors, the writers I have looked up to throughout my life. They were speaking, sharing their life experiences as artists and creatives. Somehow, every word they were saying made me feel so seen. It also embarrassed me. Every day had certain moments of pure embarrassment, and I wanted that embarrassment. That's one of the reasons why I went there.
I haven't written my second book after the first book, "Break The Norms," got published. The second book meetings and dealings didn't go as per my expectation, and I built that resentment too quickly. I just didn't want to proceed with the second book. Being at the festival taught me a very important lesson: capitalism will always mess up your relationship with your art. It's up to you—do you want the chaos of capitalism to win or do you want your art to win? Do you want fear to win over your art, or do you want the art to lead the show so that the fear fully dissolves?
Many of these authors had such a painfully heartbreaking struggle before they became globally celebrated artists and writers. Many of them were banned, jailed, and their books were burned because they were writing things that didn't align with the authorities in their respective countries. Since this was a global festival, there were authors from all over the world and everyone had their journey of struggle, finding who they are and finding their voice. What I really understood is that writing doesn't show up by joining some program, although it, of course, polishes you as a writer. It's the art that keeps improving itself as you show up for it more and more.
The trouble is, on day one, we all want to become artists. We all want to become authors, and it's the same in every journey. I have friends and clients in Hollywood who, on day one, want to become the best-known actor and grab the best movie within the first year of joining the industry. I know authors, including myself, who want to write their best-selling book from the first page itself. But being an author, being an artist, being a teacher, coach—whatever it is you want to become—is about the process. The destination matters, but the process matters.
The first lesson that I learned was the art of consistency. You do not need a magical mantra or some powerful revolutionary meditation routine. What you really need is consistency in what you call art for yourself, and consistency can happen in two ways. One way is the warrior way: it doesn't matter what you're feeling, you show up for it, you show up for your art, you show up for your daily dharma. That is one way. The other way, which I find really interesting, is building a sacred relationship with your expression, with your art—a sacred relationship with the 2.0 version of you. When there is so much love, respect, and reverence for that relationship, I believe you will show up for it.
I'm sure almost each one of you has experienced love. Remember the first feeling of love? You want to make them happy, you want to do anything for them, you want to make sure they are safe, loved, seen, heard, celebrated. In your space, to make that happen, you will go out of your way to make it happen. It's this kind of innocent, sweet, sacred relationship that your art, your self-expression requires from you. Because if that exists, you will be consistent. Of course, life will happen—the anxiety, the fear, the traumas, the outside chaos and noise will interfere. But again, if the relationship is there and if it's a sacred one, you will keep going back to that powerful space.
And I want to take this opportunity to plug in my mastermind where I'm working consistently weekly with writers, artists, misfits, and seekers of life where creativity meets sensuality meets spirituality. This is the mastermind where I'm bringing 10+ years of my one-on-one coaching experience and giving it on the group level. If this is of interest to you, simply write an email to me at info@leilagurukul.com and simply write, "I'm interested in knowing more about the mastermind," or Instagram me at @cbmeditates, message me there. I would love to chat with you. This is a deep dive program. We meet four times a month. And if you feel you're not ready for the deep dive, then the tribe is for you. Tribe is my membership community and the current pricing is $27. This price will only be valid till March 27, 2024. So $27 will be the price until March 27. After that, the price is going to be $47 per month.
So if you have been thinking, overthinking whether to join the tribe or not, now is the moment. My intention in the tribe and mastermind is to invoke the muse in you, to help you access the inner muse through Eastern traditions, through the mantras, spiritual practices that have supported me and my clients over the last 15 years. I genuinely feel these are no-brainer options if you feel willing and ready to elevate your spirituality, your art, your self-expression.
And on that note, I'm moving to the second lesson that I learned. This didn't happen in India. The second lesson happened in New York, but it happened deep within. In the last few years, I have been feeling like a guinea pig. I have been a guinea pig for my clients' projects, guinea pig for my own creative project, guinea pig for my business projects, guinea pig for my spiritual practices. I feel like I have been doing so many tests, trying new things, making new mistakes, and then eventually figuring out what really works for me.
And when I was sitting at the Jaipur Literature Festival, I was thinking, "Why am I not sharing more about my journey? I have been to so many different places, lived in so many different countries, and had so many incredible experiences. I think people will resonate with my journey. Why am I not sharing this with more people?"
And I came back to New York and immediately started asking myself, "How can I bring this new perspective into my work?" And I had this grand plan: I was going to go back to my old clients and redo my work. I was going to offer new services and do all this innovative work. I started implementing this grand plan only to realize after a few days that I was still feeling not quite there, not quite myself. I was still trying too hard to create a new way of showing up, and it was adding more pressure on me.
What I realized is that sometimes, being a guinea pig in your own journey can be a challenge, but you also have to trust that the experiments are leading you to a new destination. The second lesson is the art of balancing experimentation and implementation. It's really easy to get lost in the process of experimentation. It's really easy to feel overwhelmed by the new ways you're trying to create something. But it's also equally important to implement what you're learning in a way that feels authentic and aligned with your core.
For example, I was experimenting with some new ways of doing things, but when it came to implementation, I was trying too hard to fit those new ways into an old framework. And that’s when the struggle begins. It's crucial to find a balance between experimenting with new things and staying grounded in what already works for you. If you are experimenting too much, you might lose touch with your core essence and feel disoriented. If you are sticking only to what you know, you might miss out on valuable growth opportunities.
The balance between experimentation and implementation is what will help you create something truly meaningful. It's about being aware of what you're trying to achieve and making sure that your experiments are aligned with your overall goals and vision.
Finally, the third lesson that I learned during this journey is the art of nurturing your inner voice. I realized how important it is to constantly listen to that voice within. There are so many voices outside of us, the voices of society, expectations, family, friends, but the voice within—our inner voice—often gets overshadowed.
I remember walking through the streets of Jaipur and feeling this deep connection with my inner voice. I realized that it had been a while since I had truly listened to it. We often get caught up in the noise and chaos of life and forget to connect with that quiet, yet powerful voice inside us.
The third lesson is about creating space for your inner voice to be heard and valued. It's about carving out time for introspection and reflection. It's about trusting that your inner voice knows what’s best for you, even when the world around you is chaotic or doesn’t seem to align with your desires.
Sometimes, it’s the smallest voice that carries the most truth. And when you create space for it, you give yourself the opportunity to fully embrace your authentic self and your true desires. This can lead to a more fulfilling and aligned life.
I hope these three lessons resonate with you and help you on your journey of self-expression and creativity. Remember to be consistent, balance experimentation with implementation, and always nurture your inner voice. Thank you for listening, and I’ll see you in the next episode.
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